Black Cat
by MillenniumClockwork
Summary: Short stories revolving around the main character Ichika Hoshino and the five date-able men. Mild fluff, suggestive situations, and language warning!
1. Chapter 1 Black Cat Independant Agency

**New story! First off I want to say that I absolutely adored CollarxMalice and am looking forward to playing the rest of the otome games that are set to be released this, and next year! If you haven't read my Code Realize: Guardians of Rebirth fanfic then I also recommend reading that one as well since it's got the same set up as this.**

 **I will update this AS I FINISH THEM. I will start off by doing 1 per date-able character. They will be long-ish and then afterwards I will be doing shorter scenes doing whatever I want with them. They could be connecting but as for right now they are NOT.**

 **THESE WILL HAVE SPOILERS FOR THE ACTUAL GAME. From Story 1 if you have not FINISHED all MAIN routes then DO NOT read it unless you don't care about MAJOR and I mean MAJOR SPOILERS! I mean it, there's end game SPOILERS in the first scene. These will continue as I see fit :)**

 **I will try to keep the characters as close to their original personalities as POSSIBLE. Of course some of my own swing will end up on them, it's inevitable but kust know that I'm trying my best here and that I seriously hope that you enjoy these.**

 **Got a request? I will do my best. I work 60 hours a week on average. I really appreciate REVIEWS but thank you for READING.**

 **Questions? Shoot me a PM and I will get back to you as long as the email alert thing goes off.**

 **So we're going to start off swinging with Aiji's short story. I don't know the order in which I will post these. Aiji was awesome! His story in the game is so good!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own CollarXMalice or any of it's characters/plot.**

* * *

"Now I'm warning you, things can get a little bit out of hand when it comes to the guys. Try not to take anything to heart okay? Especially things said by Sasazuka...he's rude but he doesn't mean it half of the time." I follow the man named Yanagi up the stairs leading to my newfound job. The building is old and on the side of it is a sign saying ' **Black Cat Independant Detective Agency** ' the sign is off since it's currently light out. "I'm sorry that I couldn't get us all together before today. Our co-workers are rather eccentric, they tend to do whatever they want, whenever they want. They're all good men though."

He digs through his coat pockets once we reach the top of the stairs and pulls out a spare key for me. "For the rare chance when no one's home. Both Enomoto and I stay here, the other three have their own places. Rarely do we all leave."

I try to digest all of this as he grabs ahold of the door knob.

"Hey, you nervous? Try not to worry so much alright? You're going to do great." His smile fights off my nerves.

 _He can tell...of course he can. He was part of the section 1 investigation division. It would be odd if he couldn't tell._

Aiji Yanagi, 28 years old. He was part of the section 1 investigation division. His senses are so sharp that it's a bit scary, one day he just up and quit. His name hasn't really popped up since, not until now. Him and four others opened up an Independent Detective Agency together.

 _Black Cat...black cats usually stand for bad luck though._ He opens the door and they're all already here. There's a green-ish blue haired man hacking away on a keyboard, a long legged red-haired man stretched out on the couch with a book in his hands practically pressed to his nose, a grey haired man reading over his shoulder, and a blond hanging out by the man on the computer.

"Shiraishi?" I recognize him from the Field Ops Crime Lab department. He use to be the Director before he quit shortly after the X-day incident.

"Who're you?" He tilts his head at me, his cat ears just emphasizing the look of him being an animal. I cannot blame him for not remembering me.

"I dropped papers off to Mukai a few times from when I worked for the SRCPO. My name is Ichika Hoshino." I take a bow for the room.

"Yanagi mentioned a new recruit...he didn't mention it'd be a cute girl." The silver haired one shares a smile with me. My face flushes from the compliment, I'm not exactly use to having people come out and say such things.

"Y-You c-c-can't just call a girl that, you idiot! She'll think you're making a pass at her!" The red-haired man stutters a bit too loudly.

"Who cares if she thinks that I am." The silver one even waves at me, confirming that he actually thought I was.

"You must be blind." The green-haired man chimes in, his eyes never leave his computer as he speaks.

 _he even looked at me once?_ "You must be Sasazuka." No answer.

"This is Ichika Hoshino, she'll be our new secretary and general staff. She'll cook, clean, and answer our office phone. Try not to take advantage of her. Introduce yourselves." Like a leader, Yanagi tells it like it is. I couldn't get a response but his words immediately brought everyone to life, catching their attention.

"Although I don't recall you, I'm Kageyuki Shiraishi, 29 years old. Former director of the Field Ops Division. You won't see me much." The blond answers smartly. He can't seem to take his eyes off of me and it's starting to creep me out a bit.

"Shiraishi use to be a major profiler. Now he comes and goes as he pleases." Yanagi pitches in.

 _Like a cat._

"Kei Okazaki, I'm a 26 Former Special Police officer. I look forward to working with you." Okazaki's smile seems like one that never truly goes away, it feels a bit fake and yet it draws you in all the same. "Can I call you Ichika?"

"Oh um…" My face once again flusters but he doesn't let the subject drop.

Yanagi sighs. "Leave her alone Okazaki. _Don't_ let him have his way or else he'll bully you, come to me if you need help and I'll deal with him."

 _He's too friendly for his own good._ I make a mental note to never allow myself to be left alone with either Okazaki or Shiraishi.

"I've walked this Earth for 23 years, I am the legs of this operation! A real man's man," The red-haired one suddenly springs to life, leaping up onto his long legs and pulling out an oriental fan from goodness knows where with a flourish as he opens it to hide his smirk. I manage a smile when he very loudly shouts "MINEO ENOMOTO!"

"You're so obnoxious you loud idiot!" The green-haired one speaks up once more, to no one's surprise it's to insult someone.

Enomoto flips around, closes his fan, and points it directly at him. "You want to fight seaweed head? I'll hand you your ass right in front of everyone!"

 _S-Seaweed head?_

"Fighting with an idiot like you would only be a major waste of my precious time so no, I don't want to fight with you." Like an evil undersea witch he sneers and shrinks down behind his computer. Anyone with a brain could tell that he most definitely wanted an excuse to fight.

"Those two are always fighting. Don't mind them much. Enomoto use to be part of the Field Ops team. He's quite reliable when it matters." Yanagi explains. "Sasazuka!"

He summons the green-haired monster. "Takeru Sasazuka, 24 years old." I wait for more but he appears to be finished.

 _There's no way he's 24, he looks like he's 12._ I have to stop myself from saying this, it would most definitely wind me up in hot water. I can already hear his arsenal of insults being hurled at me.

"He use to be part of the Cybercrime Division at HQ. Don't mind his tongue, he's rude but he usually doesn't mean it. He's just too smart for his own good. If you want to get on his good side then bring him a bag of doughnuts, it'll also keep him quiet for a bit." As usual Yanagi pipes in with the useful information, I can already see Sasazuka flipping me off from behind his monitor, the rude little imp.

"So we're all ex-police force in some way, shape, or form? Interesting group." _Some of these people use to be really important people! Like Okazaki and Shiraishi...I wonder what drove everyone to quit._

"You'll mostly see Enomoto, Sasazuka, and myself around the office. Shiraishi comes and goes as he pleases and Okazaki spends most of his time outside eating weird snacks and being a pest-"

"That's mean Yanagi, I think with Ichika here I'll be inside more often." Okazaki says. He's suddenly right in my face, I hadn't even seen him move. Our noses are practically touching.

 _He's too close, special police are really on another level._

Before I can even step back, Yanagi is on it. He wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me back behind him while while stepping so that his face replaces mine. Okazaki doesn't even flinch, it's like he expected this outcome.

"Leave her alone Okazaki. If you scare her away I'll beat you down." He doesn't touch Okazaki, but his voice is firm.

 _Yanagi is clearly the glue that holds this place together. It's awfully nice...they have a nice atmosphere here._

"I'm just being friendly. We'll get to know each other soon enough, right Ichika?"

"Sure…" I'm skeptical and hearing my first name come out of his mouth is a little unnerving. _He's way too pushy, seems really nice though. Too nice._

"Call me Kei." He takes a small step back from Yanagi in case he swings.

He doesn't, I frown. "No thanks, I'll stick to Okazaki for now alright?"

"If we're done here I'm going home. I didn't get much sleep last night, only call me if one of you is dead, and the one better be Yanagi." Sasazuka pulls on his coat and heads out without another word.

"I'm also going to head out. It was nice meeting you, call me if you need me Miss….uhmmm." Shiraishi pulls a blank, clearly already having forgotten my name once again. "Maybe we'll run into each other."

"Maybe." I watch him leave wondering if I'll ever even see him again.

"I already gave everyone here your number, I'll give the same courtesy to you of course. You're free to text or call me, I don't sleep much." Yanagi directs me over to the desk. There's two computers and a telephone. One of them is clearly Sasazuka's, the other must be mine. "Sasazuka does a majority of the recon around here. As you've probably guessed, he's a brilliant but mouthy hacker."

"Feel free to text and call me as well, I'll even send you 'good morning' and 'goodnight' texts." Relentless as ever, Okazaki keeps his distance but keeps the pressure on.

"Maybe once we get to know each other better okay?" _He's not rude, just pushy._

"If you need to smoke we have a roof top. Over in that room is my room, I share it with Enomoto, the kitchen is also in there. On days that you work you're free to use the kitchen, cleaning supplies are underneath the sink. If you have any questions then just ask one of us. We don't get many calls but with five guys here there's always something to clean. You're also free to come and go pretty much as you please, our hours are two-nine but we usually close up early if there's nothing to be done."

This is a lot to process and it's a lot more lenient than my previous job. I nod to everything that he's saying.

"Any questions?" He seems relieved to be done.

"No not really." _I'm basically a glorified cleaning lady._ I will be cleaning, cooking, running errands, and answering the phone. _Easy._

"Good, you can start tomorrow. Let me walk you home." He starts to head for the door.

"Oh no thank you, the sun hasn't set yet so there's really no need-"

"You don't carry a firearm anymore so you really shouldn't be walking alone. Call me old fashioned but a lady walking home alone just doesn't sit well with me. I'll be back Enomoto, make sure that Okazaki is gone by the time I'm back." Okazaki waves goodbye to us and I'm honestly a little surprised that he doesn't want to tag along. Perhaps he had pushed Yanagi's buttons enough for one day.

We walk side-by-side for a bit before Yanagi asks if it's alright if he lights one. I don't mind and when he offers me a hit I actually take one.

I immediately regret it as the smoke fills my lungs and burns down my throat. I start to cough and he pats me on the back telling me to breathe.

"You don't smoke?" He says it in an alarmed voice.

I shake my head, the tears from my eyes start to dry. I clearly did _not_ do that correctly.

"I'm so sorry, I thought that you did! You should have told me no."

"I wanted to try it, I like alcohol so I thought maybe I wouldn't mind a smoke." Wrong, I was so wrong.

"I remember my first hit. It ended just like yours did." His chuckle makes me smile.

"Then why did you continue?"

"It's an acquired taste. Sort of like drinking for the first time...plus I thought it was cool back in the day. I was quite the rebel you know?"

Looking at him I couldn't imagine it. "No way, you don't have the face for it!" I try to imagine a delinquent Yanagi and it causes me to laugh. He frowns in response.

"I was a real slugger you know. I'm not proud of it but sometimes my temper still gets the better of me."

"You handled Okazaki pretty well."

"He's lucky. Any other day and I would have thrown him out on his ass for comments like that. We just hired you...I don't want to look for another secretary who can put up with all of us."

"I don't even know if I can to be real honest. We'll have to see." _There's way too many personalities all cooped up in one room._

"Anytime they drive you too crazy let me know and I'll give them what's coming to them. You can always go to the rooftop to cool off, that's what we usually do."

"I'll keep that in mind." We arrive at my apartment complex and I turn to tell him goodbye. He has his hand out for a handshake.

"Welcome to the team Hoshino, I look forward to working with you."

I take his hand and smile. It's a warm hand and a strong hand. "I'm happy to be here."

* * *

"One coffee with extra cream and extra sugar and a twelve pack of doughnuts." I drop them off to Sasazuka as I make my rounds around the room. "A pack of smokes for Yanagi." On the package I had wrote ' **Bad Child** ' to discourage and remind him of the fact that he shouldn't smoke. "Durian flavored wafers for Okazaki...and some hand-whipped pudding for Enomoto."

I hand out today's goodies and finally take the time to tie back my hair to start my daily cleaning rounds.

The boys had all texted me this morning asking me to pick up various things. Sasazuka is the only one who actually demanded his order like he usually does, the rest were really nice about it.

"You made this?" Enomoto asks as he digs in. His face is filled with delight. This is the face that I had wanted to see, I love it when people appreciate my hard work. "It's delicious!"

"I made it last night, I'm also a big fan of pudding so I make it fairly often!" I was quite surprised when he had texted me asking me for some.

"Oi poochie, this one's for you." Sasazuka sets a doughnut over by my phone, he's careful about it and sets it on a napkin. It clearly screams 'here's a treat'. If it was anyone else I'd feel insulted, this is his way of showing acceptance.

"Thank you." I go and grab my apron to set to work on cleaning and making sandwiches for lunch. The way these five eat is atrocious. Yanagi is about the only one who can cook and he rarely does so since he's usually busy, he's about the only one who cooks and cleans around here before I came along.

"Coffee?" I grab the freshly brewed pot off from the warmer and head over to Yanagi who is usually on his third cup right about now. The man practically lives on coffee and cigarettes, it's a little alarming and it's probably why he doesn't get much sleep at night.

"You're a lifesaver Hoshino." Yanagi smiles at me over his paper. "We'd fall apart without you."

I've only been here for about a month and I've already got the swing of things. I go about my day by grabbing things for the men, cleaning up the agency, making coffee, breaking up fights, making meals, and on the rare occasion I'll answer the phone. I do my best to keep the place tidy for them, it only took about three times before Yanagi started to make his own bed. In a way it really feels like I'm taking care of a bunch of children.

The men come and go as they please. They all seem to work independently but occasionally they meet up to bounce ideas off of one another. Sometimes they'll involve me when there's only two of them in the office. If Sasazuka is involved, he usually just calls me a moron and then we fight.

I spend the most time with our clients. I talk to them, invite them over, and then direct them to the man who suits them best. Need protection? Okazaki. Need talking and for us to dig up information? Enomoto. Anything to do with online stuff? Sasazuka. Yanagi is the only one who actively chooses his own clients. We take on a lot of stalking cases and civil matters that the police are just too busy to deal with.

We compile a case, investigate, and then use our police connections to help escalate and progress the case through the court. We give our clients the case to take to the police to assist in an arrest if necessary, if not necessary then we will confront them.

We deal with a ton of stalking victims. It's one of those things that the police cannot touch until someone gets hurt. Sometimes the boys go and chase the stalker off or help the victim cope with what's happening to them, I talk to the victims more often than not. Cheating is also one of those things that we deal with often, although we never turn them over to the police. Sasazuka rather enjoys hacking and watching as their lives unravel.

"I don't really do that much around here honestly." I grab a blanket off from the back of the couch to drape over Okazaki who has thankfully fallen asleep. He's much easier to handle when he's asleep.

"Yes you do, give yourself some more credit. Before you, we were a mess. Now everything is all nice and organized."

"You're alright for an idiot."

Sasazuka quickly douses any of the warm feelings that I got from Yanagi's compliment. I always hang off of Yanagi's words, they're like candy for me and I find myself trying to get compliments from him. He's always quick to praise me as well.

On nights where I stay late, Yanagi _always_ walks me home. He does so without fail, when I leave, he leaves. We talk about the day and he always tells me 'Thank you for your hard work' before watching me walk inside. Like a dog protecting his territory, he's always the first to get after Okazaki and his constant pestering. It makes me feel warm in a way that I probably shouldn't.

Sometimes the four of us will go drinking at my favorite bar. We always cause quite the ruckus since Enomoto is always getting way too drunk. I try my best to stay sober but it honestly hurts to be here sometimes. One time I got so drunk that I woke up in Yanagi's bed not knowing how I got there.

 _My clothes are still on...I mean of course they are! Yanagi would never take advantage of a woman!_ Still, I took the time to bury my nose into his pillow. It smelled like stale tobacco and that special scent that only Yanagi has. I could lose myself in his scent and my mind went into the gutter when I thought about how I'm in his bed.

He had made me a greasy breakfast that morning to help clear up my hangover. We haven't spoken about it since.

I like Yanagi, a little more than I probably should for someone who is quite older than me. I show him this by doing everything that I can around the agency. If he's caught on, he hasn't mentioned anything. _He's sharp though, maybe I_ _ **want**_ _him to catch on._ It's not a crime to simply like someone.

I shake my head to clear it from these thoughts. I don't push my luck, I would hate for him to push me away. "I take it you're finished with the information that we needed? If so I'll give the lady a call." Sasazuka passes me a look that clearly says 'Who do you think you're talking to?' I make a mental note to call her later as I start to plate up the sandwiches.

"If you don't eat them I'll wrap them up and put them in the fridge for later." I pass them out. For Sasazuka I had cut the crusts off from the bread, he mumbles his thanks when I set it down. "Okazaki, I have food."

He never wakes up when I set food in front of him. In fact it's quite difficult to wake him up. Instead I have to get real close to his face and touch my nose to his and say "Okazaki, I have food for you." I'm not dumb, I know it's a trap every time. He's very touchy feely and very handsy. The first couple of times he's managed to grab me and pull me down on top of him. Every time this happens, all of the men come running to my rescue. Even Sasazuka gets pissy.

Like usual, I leap out of his range and keep backing up in case he sits up and makes a grab for me. He doesn't even try today, instead he takes off his mask and offers me a usual charming smile. "What a wonderful way to wake up, thanks Ichika!"

"You're welcome." Every time that Okazaki grabs me I kick myself. He makes me feel so conscious of the fact that I'm a woman, it's embarrassing. The first time that it had happened he had wrapped his arms around my neck and held me against him while he told me 'good morning'. After quite a bit of protesting and few words like 'Your body is so warm' and 'Do you enjoy being on top of me?' he let me go, satisfied that my face had gotten so red.

"You shouldn't indulge him like that." Yanagi sighs. He's always the first to my side whenever Okazaki nabs me, his brute force is usually necessary. Sort of like the jaws of life.

"Yanagi is jealous because Ichika gives me rabbit kisses and not him. She probably would if you'd just ask." Okazaki has a 'matter of fact' air about him.

 _I'd give him a lot more than rabbit kisses if he asked._ I don't say this though, instead I watch Yanagi for a reaction. He looks ready to kill Okazaki.

"Are you, you know, jealous?" Without really thinking I voice my thoughts and the entire room goes silent, even Sasazuka has stopped typing for a moment.

Yanagi's face softens and it starts to turn a shade that I rarely see on him. "What...what guy wouldn't be? You're very pretty."

 _My God, I will remember those words for as long as I live._ My face clearly shows my thoughts because Sasazuka rolls his eyes. Yanagi quickly grabs his coat, excusing himself for a smoke break.

 _Get ahold of yourself Hoshino! You're stronger than this!_

Maybe I'm not though.

* * *

"He was...my friend you know?" I sit at the bar with just Yanagi. We had been the only two left in the agency when he asked me to go to the bar. On top of caffeine and smokes, Yanagi also likes beer. Unluckily for him, so do I. "The betrayal when I found out about him...it was too difficult to handle."

Yuzuru Saeki.

My long time friend who I went through the police academy with. We'd go out drinking at this very bar and more often than not, I'd have to make sure that he got home safely. He'd been there with me through thick and thin, I told him so much.

"I heard about how you took down certain members of Adonis. I never knew that you were friends with any of them. I cannot imagine your feelings." He downs the last of his beer. He hasn't been drinking nowhere near as much as me.

 _I'm sloshed._ Against my better judgement I tell him about Saeki, I don't even remember what got us on this subject. "I quit the force because of him you know? I quit because I shot him twice, I blew out his kneecaps and knocked his gun away. This is a gun that he pointed at _me_. He wanted me to go with him but I couldn't do it. I couldn't go…" His sense of justice didn't line up with my own.

"I'm glad that you didn't go. Adonis stood for everything that we fight against. You're better than them Hoshino. You're stronger than them." His words basically whisper 'I'm here' and it's comforting.

"Yeah but...Saeki fought for justice. As twisted as it was it was still justice. I wish it wasn't him...I couldn't believe that it was him." It had killed me to take those shots, to point a gun at my 'friend' and fire. It killed me to watch him scream and to watch him bleed. He kept begging and begging me to kill him but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I cried as I cuffed him and I haven't seen him since.

I don't want to see him.

"He made his bed, let him lay in it Hoshino." Yanagi takes one of my hands for comfort. It works when I'm sober, it definitely works when I'm drunk.

"May I lay in your bed again?" Drunk me says this confidently.

"You don't understand what you're asking." He sighs, this has clearly taken a turn that he wasn't expecting.

"It's okay...you don't have to go to bed with me. I just like being surrounded by your scent. You're always so nice to me Yanagi...I really like you." I try to smile at him but he won't meet my eyes.

"Tell me that when we're both sober."

"If I do will it even matter?" He's nowhere near as drunk as me. "You know, I use to think I'd up with Saeki...but now he's gone to a place where I cannot follow. You're not going to run from me too are you?"

"No, especially if you remember this conversation. I like your company too much."

I take pleasure in his words, he must be able to tell because he finally smiles at me.

I really do like him.

* * *

"It's a little cold out still but the weather is too nice to stay inside." We've all gathered up on top of the rooftop. Winter has come and gone, it's now Spring and we're all together to enjoy a picnic like lunch. I've made rice balls, cucumber sandwiches, and hot tea for the group. There's a table meant for four and a large blanket on the ground for the rest of us.

On our table is several more dishes made by Yanagi. I refuse to admit that his cooking is almost better than my own. He allows me to do most of the cooking around the office. Also on the table is a radio that is playing older music.

Yanagi and I have changed. I'm still too chicken to admit that I remember bits of my drunken stupor. He acts the same but I can tell our dynamic has changed. We touch more now than ever. He'll guide me out of a room by putting his arm around my shoulders. On our walks he'll often put his coat one me so that I can feel his warmth and smell him.

He compliments my looks more. He tells me that he likes my perfume or if I wear makeup sometimes he'll comment on it. He really likes it when I wear red.

Sometimes he'll make me food or even join me when I head out to run the usual errands. Okazaki even made a comment about him 'monopolizing' me. I'll join him for his smokes breaks where we'll talk about Saeki and our old lives as official cops. These are sad times but these things need to be said in order for us to better understand each other.

Whenever he gets jealous I feel so spoiled that it literally hurts. Him and Okazaki are constantly going at it, sometimes he even clashes with Enomoto whenever he get's a little touchy with me.

"If you need someone to wake Okazaki up then just let me do it okay?" I had followed him outside after a particularly nasty encounter. Okazaki has grabbed me and in return, Yanagi had grabbed him and had his arm back to slug him.

"Ichika doesn't belong to _any_ of us so you have no right to be mad." Okazaki never dropped his composure. He just kept smiling, _daring_ Yanagi to do it. "You're a coward."

Yanagi had let him go, but he left for a smoke break without his coat. Of course I had followed him, I couldn't not after all of that.

"He doesn't mean any harm." It's true, usually after a few minutes of indulgence, he lets me go.

"You're so naive it hurts sometimes. Are you seriously okay with him putting his hands all over you like that? Are you seriously just fine with the things that he says to you when he has you?" He's mad, there's a cigarette in his mouth but he can't stop pacing.

I shook my head. "Of course not, but it's how he shows his affection. I'm important to him, he goes a little overboard but you shouldn't get so upset about this okay?"

"It bothers me." He stops to glare at me.

"Clearly, but why?" We stood in silence after that, neither one of us wanting to cross that line at the time. He was being childish and I was being shy. I wanted to tell him that compared to when he touches me, Okazaki gives me nothing. Yanagi stirs a fire in me, Okazaki douses it.

"Dance with me." Yanagi offers me his hand, we're back on the rooftop now. The music is playing loud enough for all of us to clearly hear it. I'm surprised that he even wants to. "We'll just sway since I haven't actually danced in years okay?"

"Okay great, I don't even really know how to dance." Today I wore a red floral sundress with a pair of black pumps, this causes me to nearly reach his height. He barely even has to look down upon me.

I take his hand and he immediately pulls me into him. "Put your arms around my neck since you're tall enough right now." I do this and his hands go onto my waist. It takes a moment for us to start swaying to the actual rhythm of the slow song, he nuzzles his nose into my neck and I press my face into his shoulder for that familiar tobacco smell.

"Do I smell like cigarettes?"

"You do...I like it. Your natural smell mixes well with it...it's calming for me." This is all a bit embarrassing to say, but how could I help it when he just comes out and asks like that? I can feel how warm he is and this is all so intoxicating, being this close to him. If I listen closely I can even hear his heart beating a bit faster than it probably should. "Yanagi-"

"Shhhh, let's enjoy this right now." I feel his hands tighten like he doesn't want to let me go. Honestly, I don't want to let him go either.

When a slightly faster song comes on, he guides me by taking my right hand in his and setting a hand on my waist. We go in circles since neither of us really know what we're doing. At one point he allows me to twirl before ultimately bringing me back into his embrace for some more swaying. It's all _very_ intimate and my heart is starting to hurt. We can hear each other's hearts and feel each other's breath on our skin.

"Please…" I raise my head up to catch his eyes. I'm tired of this, of this casual thing when there's clearly something going on here. I cannot seriously be the only one who thinks this. "Yanagi…"

"Are you sure you know what you want? You're so young and you literally have so many choices all around you right now. I don't want to tie you down so early."

"Is that what you've been agonizing over all this time? I _know_ that I'm young but I'm not that young. I like that you're older than me, you've got so much more experience than me. You're mature." A seven year gap is nothing to sneeze at. "I may be young but these feelings are mine."

"I just don't want you to have any regrets about this alright? I'm twenty-eight, most people my age are already settled down and having children. This won't be just some fling or casual thing for me."

"Thank God." Our faces are the shade of love and I very much want to kiss him. If he doesn't kiss me then I'm highly likely to do it myself.

"You'll still work for us?"

"Absolutely, I'll continue to be professional about it all." I'm glowing.

"No more waking Okazaki up...or indulging Enomoto and Sasazuka. If you do then I can't be held responsible for my actions alright?"

"You must cut down on smoking," _If he's going to make demands then so am I._ "And spoil me...no more hiding this. I want to hold your hand...and to touch you. I want real dates and I want kisses…"

"You're greedy." We share in a smile before we finally stop our almost non-existent swaying. He takes my chin in his hand and thumbs my bottom lip. "I like this color on you."

"It'll look better on you…"

I finally get what I want as his mouth covers my own. Sweetly, hesitantly, and then possessively. It was like he wasn't sure if this was still okay but as I respond he only grew more and more confident with his kisses. His lips stole my breath away again and again until it became hard to breathe. We kiss until I feel a bit weak in the knees, I clutch his shirt and when we break apart I desperately suck in fresh air.

"Get. A. Room. In case you two have forgotten there's three other people here." Sasazuka practically snarls this at us, there's a smirk on his face. He had probably guessed that this would happen a while ago.

"W-W-When did this happen? Since when?" Enomoto looks very clearly shocked. As usual he's oblivious.

"Are you mentally challenged?"

"What? You knew? You didn't tell me?" More shock, his voice is raising.

"Evidently even a moron _can't_ tell. You're stupider than I thought!"

"Picking a fight already seaweed head?"

They go at it. Okazaki is currently asleep in a chair with some half-eaten food on his plate. Who knows how long he's been asleep since he can literally fall asleep within seconds.

As they fight, Yanagi grabs me as the two continue on. He quite literally picks me right up and hauls me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"E-E-Excuse me?!" I struggle a bit at first but his arm only tightens to get me to stop.

"Listen up! You three, I highly recommend that you stay _out_ of the agency for a few hours." His voice is loud and clear. Sasazuka looks disgusted while Enomoto merely frowns, obviously not getting it.

"Y-Y-Yanagi?!" My face is absolutely on fire.

"We're taking Sasazuka's advice," I can feel him laughing as he carries me to the stairway. "We'll make up for lost time."

"I do like you bed…" There's no reason to fight this.

"Hopefully you'll like me in it with you." His intentions are all too clear and I feel as though this might be a dream.

My head goes fuzzy. I don't want to think about anything except for the fact that the two of us are finally going to be together. I get to be with him and I get to work with him, everything feels right at this moment.

I never want it to change.

* * *

 **Thanks for reading, I hope that you'll leave a review about it or perhaps just tell me how much you, yourself enjoyed the game! Tell me which is your favorite character! Thanks for all of your support :)**


	2. Chapter 2 Deserve

**Chapter 2! Takeru Sasazuka is my personal favorite character in this entire game. He was my first route and I wish I had saved his route because it's a gem. I love his story, his sass, and his cg's he's gorgeous 3. This chapter will be from his POV and is the only one I have so far that's from the male's POV :D  
**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Collar x Malice or any of it's characters or plot points.**

* * *

 _Thomas Ken Nakada._

I say his name a few times in my head and then a few more because I cannot believe my own eyes at the moment. I haven't heard nor seen his name pop up in years, not since I moved back to Japan. America is a messed up place because people like him roam free, not like Japan has been any better lately.

After all of the X-day incidents and clean up, Shinjuku has been slowly but surely rebuilding. Civilian assigned guns are now being collected since the Swords and FIrearms Law has been re-enacted. This was and still is being met with a ton of rebellion. Now more than ever, our civilians feel as though their rights and their protection is being taken away from them despite the fact that most of them didn't even know what they were doing in the first place.

 _Guns give people the opportunity to kill, a person is more likely to kill someone if they have a weapon than to go out and get a weapon to kill someone._

My department is currently tasked with tracking down all of the guns being sold off anonymously through the internet. It isn't too difficult and most of my days my attention wanders elsewhere. I lead most of the Cyber Crime Division, most of them can handle themselves so I'm usually left to myself. This is preferred of course, I work better alone.

Most days I lose myself in my work and in my computer. My brain is always on a one way track when it comes to work. Gather information, find a way to pursue them, and then trap them like the rats that they are. These are my favorite cases, lately it's been nothing but boring gun trafficking.

Until now at least.

"Thomas Ken Nakada, known weapons trafficker. He's being sought after since he's selling firearms to the local gangs and even to some of our own civilians. They turn in their government firearms and then go to him and get a new one." I read this to myself since I'm alone. It's around eleven and my coworkers have already gone home for the night, this isn't anything unusual. Personally I have nothing better to do so I stayed over and inevitably lost track of time. "I bet he's importing guns from America, he must have seized this opportunity to make a killing. Rats will always be rats...not in my country you bastard!"

I immediately set to work in hopes of finding and taking down this man. _He's garbage, scum. He deserves nothing but death._ Fixated on old memories, my fingers fly faster than ever. I've never been able to touch him before, but not with all of these resources maybe...just maybe I might be able to do something. Even if this falls out of my jurisdiction.

I have to at least _try._

The room light suddenly flashes on and I immediately halt my words. Annoyed, I turn around to see who _dared_ to even be here this late.

"Sasazuka...you scared me. You know it's not good for your eyes to be staring at a screen in the dead of night. It's nearly midnight, perhaps you should call it a night?" A girl stands in the doorway with her coat folded over her arms. She's smiling and there's some rings under her eyes which tells me that she's been staying up rather late. "You don't remember me do you? We work in different departments so I'm not all that surprised…"

 _Ichika Hoshino. A woman with a shot so good it's a little unnerving. She brought down many of Adonis's key members when the time came to make the arrest. I've seen her around mostly delivering paperwork and chatting up the people around her. She's pure._ "Don't just assume things, only idiots assume things."

She tilts her head slightly to the left and bites down on her bottom lip. I watch her hair move with her head and think to myself that it's actually quite pretty.

 _She's like a cat. Cute and soft looking, but where are her claws?_

"That's not very nice, just because you say rude things to me doesn't mean I'll go away." She frowns at me and I have to stop myself from laughing.

 _There they are._

I give her one of my signature smirks and say "Then you're dumber than I originally thought. Minus 10 points for the tired cop."

"You're in fact as rude as they say." She smiles sweetly at me, clearly not the reaction that I wanted. "Let's go and get something to eat, perhaps we'll both sleep easier with a full stomach."

My smile fades, I have no idea why I would want to eat with someone like her but I _am_ hungry. "On one condition: You pick and it better have decent cocktails and great desserts. I mean it."

"We'll go to my favorite bar! I'm sure it'll be to your liking." Her face perks up immediately like a dog's tail when it's praised. Again, I have to stop myself from laughing.

"If I like it, I'll pay. If I don't, then you'll pay for the meal and for wasting my time." I close my laptop and grab my coat off from the back of the chair. She's already out in the hallway and waits patiently while I lock up. "It's nearly midnight and you're _still_ making calls?"

"Yes. People are nervous and scared. They're calling and reporting everything they seem to think is wrong. More often than not nothing is wrong, but it puts people at ease. People need us now that they can no longer protect themselves, we use to get calls before but it's starting to get a little overwhelming. It's almost like they had forgotten about us until now." Her rings under her eyes don't lie, these past few weeks haven't been easy for her. All of Adonis wasn't apprehended so most are still on edge about the whole ordeal. "My commander actually told me to leave...I think he's still there."

"You can't afford to be exhausted when you head out. A single mistake is all it takes…"I try not to think about Nakada as I speak to her. Our earlier encounter had put me at ease, something new to focus on.

The bar is barely a fifteen minute walk from the station. It isn't packed and I order a cassis orange to start my night off, to my surprise Hoshino orders a beer.

"I come here with a good friend at least once a week! Their beer is delicious!" I watch her delightfully sip on her beer, I get a feeling that she's being polite. She really doesn't need to.

"Trade me your chicken for this liver. Also eat this." I pick a part our shareables since I'm a painstakingly picky eater. She doesn't seem to mind as I pile most of my greens on to her plate, some people would be embarrassed by this behavior, I just know what I like.

"You're like a child…." Her tone is light, she's making a joke and I'm not laughing. My shoulders immediately raise a little.

I scrunch up my nose. "An idiot has _no_ right to judge me. You want to fight?"

"So you already know this then? You're so mean when I get things right!" It's definitely the alcohol talking here, she's got this smug smile on her usually calm face.

Her attitude reminds me of Shiraishi's and I immediately find myself getting pissy. This must show because she actually dares to start giggling. "I'm glad that I can amuse you." It's sour.

"To be honest I thought you'd be like a demon...but you're not all that bad."

"Are you deaf? All I've done is insult you."

"Yeah but you still agreed to come out with me despite barely knowing me. Shiraishi actually told me that we might get along. Him and I don't click well but he gives decent advice when he's not messing with you." She finishes her third drink and proceeds to drink water instead. It's a good call, her cheeks are flustered and burning.

"Show me someone who does. That man's brain is wasted on him, he has such a creepy personality." I stop at two cocktails, I want to be able to make sure that she gets home safely. I take the time to actually look at her since I honestly don't see her around much.

She has kind eyes that are currently glazed over from her lips are full and a bit red from her licking them. Her hair is long, longer than a cop's probably should be, and a pretty chocolate color, she's also shorter than me. Cute, I bet no one would guess that she's with the police if she showed up in everyday clothes. All in all she's slightly above average for attractiveness. _I'd rate her about an eighty._

Perhaps it's due to my staring but she gives me a sheepish look. "Thank you for coming out with me...to be honest I've been a bit stressed. Everyone is so on edge...I thought things would be different now that X-day is finally over with. No, everyday people call and ask me 'Is it truly over?' and everyday they don't believe me. I wish that they would just trust me." Her words begin to slur but it's not hard to figure out.

"This wasn't _entirely_ unpleasant and the food is good…" I _almost_ tell her that I wouldn't mind doing this again, I stop myself because I don't need any real distractions. She's certainly cute enough to be considered a distraction, I also have Sakuragawa if I want to drink. "I'll make sure you get home okay." _Even if it's a pain in the ass._

"You could stay over?" She suggests, yawning in the process. Her arms stretch high above her head and I find myself watching her until she finishes and tilts her head at me, waiting for my answer. If she wasn't drunk I would have choked on my dessert.

"You insult me." I sigh. Who knows if I would turn her down if she's sober. One night stands are usually easier than hanging on to people for too long.

"Your loss."

Her brazen attitude makes my eye twitch. I should just leave her here but even I'm not that cruel. I end up having to carry her into the taxi on my back and into her house the same exact way. She smells of booze and a floral perfume that I find myself rather fond of. Usually flowers all smell the same to me.

It's rather difficult to both hold and unlock her small apartment and to my dismay she drools on my favorite coat.

"You're not worth the trouble!" I whisper hiss at her when I finally finagle her onto her sofa. She sleeps hard and soundly due to her drunkenness, her cheeks still warm from the alcohol. I find myself staring way longer than I should. I watch her chest move up and down from her almost silent breathing. "Perhaps this was worth it…"

 _Stupid cat._ I leave my coat draped over her and head home to begin my search. There's no way that I'm sleeping anytime soon.

* * *

The next day I'm tired, irritated, and about four hours late since I accidentally fell asleep without setting an alarm. Surprisingly the director of our department didn't call me, probably assumed I stayed up all night which isn't uncommon for our department.

He isn't wrong and it didn't do me a lick of good. Tracking down Nakada is proving to be a pain in my ass, he slippery and yet his work is clean. He's refined his methods and I shouldn't be surprised.

"Bastard...I'll kill him." I grumble to myself as I open the Cybercrime Division's door.

I'm met with stares as I enter and they don't stop despite the fact that they all _clearly_ know who I am. I cross my arms and scowl something fierce, itching for a fight. I'm in _no_ mood. "Can I help any of you morons?"

"Sasazuka! I was worried you wouldn't show up today….maybe you had gotten sick from last night's walk." I lose my composure at the sight of her sitting at _my_ desk with _my_ desk phone to her ear. As she finishes up her call I notice my coat is hanging off from my chair and a bag that could very well contain doughnuts is on my desk.

"Gimme." Is all that I can say as I go to investigate the bags contents. To my delight it's doughnuts and not the crummy ones either. I happily begin to munch on one since I hadn't bothered with breakfast.

"Shiraishi told me that you liked doughnuts...he wouldn't tell me what kind so I got a variety. He suggested matcha but I know better by now than to listen to him whenever he's direct like that. His smile is always so suspicious."

"You did well poochie." I give her a few grateful pats on her adorable head. _I hate matcha._

"I'm not a dog." Her eyes narrow but I can practically see her tail wagging.

"Stupid cat then-"

"I'm not a cat either-"

I silence her by shoving an iced doughnut into her mouth. At first she glares but then she begins to chew happily. I take another doughnut for myself.

"I'm glad that you like them...they're my apology for last night. I also washed your coat." She brushes her hands off on her skirt being careful to not make eye-contact. Even I can tell that she's embarrassed. "I must have been quite the burden-"

"You were,you practically threw yourself at me-"

"I did not! Oh God no way!"

I give her a knowing smirk. "It wasn't a total wash last night. Now get out of my chair, I have work to do-"

"Yes, yes." Grateful for an escape, she quickly makes an exit. Instead of working, my co-workers are too busy watching her backside as she leaves.

 _The morons. Like dogs in heat I swear._ I take my seat and pull my coat up and onto my shoulders. To my delight it still smells like her and her perfume. I know now that I will wear it for the rest of the day. None of my co-workers dare to even speak to me although their curiosity has to be eating them.

 _I must admit...I feel a bit better from having our encounter. She's an idiot but at least she's considerate….that's more than what I can say about myself._

Cold. Blunt. Heartless. Genius.

These are just a few of the words that are so often used to describe me. They never bother me and right now i have my doubts that I'll be seeing her again anytime soon. Being blunt and teasing people tends to make them leave, I don't really know how to make someone stay.

 _Why am I even sad? I barely know her...one bag of doughnuts and I'm whipped._ I scratch at my head and scowl at my screen. _This is annoying._

* * *

"Dinner. Now." It's ten when I walk into the SRCPO building and spot her still at her desk. She has the phone to her ear and she appears to be trying to calm down a citizen. There's only one other person in the building, a blond male who's eyes won't leave mine.

"Yes...yes thank you for calling, I hope you have a wonderful night." She hangs up and then sighs, clearly exhausted. "Sasazuka...I didn't expect to see you so soon. You're leaving early?"

"Yes, and you're coming with me." I state this because surely it's a fact. It's sad but ten is early for us who tend to stay over.

"I wasn't going to leave for another hour-"

"There's someone still here, he can answer the phone." I point to the man who immediately gets up. I don't want him to come over here because he might start talking and then I'll have to cut him down.

"I can't just leave my work for him...maybe another time?" Her smile is missing which tells me that she's upset. I pull up one of her rolling chairs and sit backwards in it. I take out my phone and start to look things up on it, it's as if I had never even left. "Sasazuka?"

"I'll wait...I literally don't have anything better to do." For the first time in awhile I felt a bit lonely at the thought of eating alone. _It's because she showed up in the morning isn't it? It has to be, she should take responsibility._

"It might be a few hours…" As if on a timer, her phone rings. She answers it immediately. "Ichika Hoshino with the Special Regions Crime Prevention Office, how can I assist you?"

I listen in on her conversations and lazily play with my phone. Most calls are still about Adonis and the X-day incidents. Some people straight up just yell at her while others just require reassurance. During some of the calls I have to stop myself from grabbing her phone and telling them like it is. At one point the male in the room leaves to check up on one of the callers.

There's not a doubt in my mind that I couldn't just sit in a chair all day listening to people yelling, complaining, and making false reports. Hoshino doesn't seem to mind, she doesn't let their harsh words get to her and I can practically see her chalking everything up to them being scared. A part of me wants to help her through this, some people literally call just to tell her what a shitty job she's doing.

 _Her voice is calming...she's way better with people then I'll ever be._ I'm thinking this as she finally starts to pull her coat on. I had been so lost in thought that I hadn't even noticed her getting around. "Finally done?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry for the wait. The whole gun situation really has people on edge. Let's go and pick up some groceries, I'll make you something at home since most places are closed now...I don't really feel like drinking."

"Oh hoo? Inviting me back to your place so soon? How bold." I tease.

"It's not like that! Don't tease me."

"Don't be an easy target, that appears to be impossible for you." When she glares at me, I smirk back.

Her apartment isn't far and the grocery store is even closer. I place things like doughnuts and sweets into her cart. As we shop she tells me about some of the phone calls that she took today.

"Someone is selling guns in Shinjuku, they have to be. Lately we've been confiscating guns with duplicate serial numbers on them…"

 _It has to be Nakada and his group._ "I'm already gathering information on this." I accidentally say this aloud.

"Why? This doesn't fall under your division." She unlocks the door and I help her bring a few bags inside.

"No comment." I'm starving so I grab a doughnut only to receive disapproving looks from her.

"My cooking is excellent so no sweets before I'm done-"

"It's your fault for making me wait-"

"You didn't have to!" Victory spreads across her face and I growl at her over my box of doughnuts. She _will_ pay for this.

Satisfied, she puts on her apron and sets off to work. We aren't eating anything elaborate since it's late and we both work tomorrow.

On my omurice she draws a cat face using ketchup. I don't give her the satisfaction of commenting.

She certainly wasn't kidding when she said that she could cook. I relish the flavor of my first bite and even leave the spoon hanging from my mouth for a moment. Perhaps it's because I'm not use to _real_ food but I feel like I can eat this every day.

"Do you like it?" She sits down beside me to watch me eat. In front of her is the same dish with yet another cat drawn on it.

"Yes...I suppose everyone is good at something. Congratulations." I take another spoonful.

"Thank goodness! You're so picky I was worried." As soon as I take my second bite, she begins to eat, happily scooping up her omelet.

 _She acts like we've known each other forever...we've only met a handful of times._ Before yesterday I only recall telling her to move out of my way maybe twice, one time she delivered papers to me and I didn't even acknowledge her. _It's a shame, if I had talked to her a lot sooner then maybe this would have happened sooner._

* * *

I see her now wherever I go. I find myself actively looking for her as I go about my days. It's hard to think about much else and sometimes I find myself walking faster when I swear that I see her go around a corner. It's never her so I leave feeling frustrated and honestly a bit paranoid.

To no one's surprise, our division never really has anything to do with one another. The only time she ever stops by is if she has to deliver some paperwork. When she does stop by, she looks for me and even offers me a little wave as she hands the papers to the director of our division. I rarely see her and it irritates me to no end.

So today I wait, it's nearly nine and I figure that she'll be out soon. _Knowing her she's staying late….does she even sleep?_ Not that I have any room to talk. Lately my brain has been wrecked with thoughts of Nakada, he haunts my dreams. Oddly and frustratingly enough, thinking about Hoshino helps. _I don't know what it is about that idiot, but I like her._ I like her a lot in fact.

I check my phone but she still hasn't come out. "She can't seriously still be answering calls." I poke my head into the office, curiosity getting the better of me. She's asleep with her head in her arms, one hand on the phone in case it rings. Like on the night that I took her home, I take a moment to watch her. _She always sleeps so peacefully, probably because she never sleeps._

The phone begins to ring and she immediately picks it up and puts it to her ear. "Special Regions Crime Prevention Office this is Ichika Hoshiono, how may I assist you?" She pauses, listening lazily as she attempts to stifle a yawn. "Yes...yes I'll check on it right now. No problem." After another moment she hangs up and then stretches.

"Sleeping on the job? Lazy cat." I poke at her to get her going, she seems too tired to care or play along this time.

"Ah Sasazuka...you're always so mean. I don't really have time for it, it's about time to go home anyways." She doesn't seem at that surprised to see me despite the fact that I have literally no reason to be down here.

"You're checking in on someone?"

"Yeah, an older gentleman who is worried since some younger adults are hanging out outside of his house. I'm going to go and see what they're up to and send them home since it's nearly curfew." With one last stretch she stands up and grabs her purse. "I'm going to lock up…"

 _She's clearly wondering what I'm doing here._ I cross my arms. "You're going alone?"

"Mochida and Saeki already went home so...yes...yes I am. The neighborhood isn't bad-"

"Stupid cat-"

"Stop. Calling. Me. That." A fire returns to her eyes, one that makes me smirk.

"I'll go with you. Knowing you, you'd fall asleep on the way...my assistance isn't free though."

"Let me guess, 10 doughnuts?"

I frown. "Normally yes, tonight though I want to exchange numbers."

"I don't see why not, I'm getting off cheap this time." She happily digs through her purse and hands me her phone so that I can program my number into it. I immediately text "Idiot cat" to her before handing it back. "Is that why you're here? You wanted my number?"

 _Sharp,_ "I like drinking with you...and the food you make isn't terrible."

"That's because all you seem to eat is takeout and doughnuts."

"I don't have time nor do I _need_ to cook. Shut up." I sigh, even I can hear how childish I'm being. She lets me get away with it, pleased to have gotten a rise out of me.

"Well...I have time so I'll make you a bento in the morning. Cooking lunch for two is actually easier than cooking for one. It's easier to not cook too much…" She says this cautiously as if afraid that she's going to step over some invisible line that's in between us.

I take that step and say "Then I'll pick you up in the morning. I don't live that far from you-"

"That's a lot of trouble! You don't have to do that-"

"I already said I would so I'm going to. Text me if you're staying overnight or really late, I'll walk you home." Shinjuku still isn't as safe as everyone pretends that it is. "It's an exchange."

"Sounds fair." She agrees easily which means that she enjoys this idea.

I relax now that my way in has been secured. If she hadn't agreed then I would have just shown up anyways. Everyone always tells me how pushy I am, but it gets desireable results so who cares?

"Heh...I make you lunch and you escort me to work. It's sort of feels like you're my boyfriend." She toes the invisible line and I smirk.

"Sort of huh? Let's call this a trial period then." I keep walking but she stops. In my mind there's no reason to ever toe this line. _I like her so I don't see what the problem is._ I get several steps ahead of her before I give up and turn around. "There's an issue?"

"I must be _really_ tired. You're not asking me out are you?" She blinks a few times, her face blooming with the color red.

 _How cute._ "You want me to repeat myself?" I sigh, pretending to be irritated.

She shakes her head, pleased with my answer. "I just didn't think that you'd like someone like me."

"Well I do, so do your best to impress me." Despite how confident I sound, I'm actually a bit unnerved. This entire conversation has my nerves a bit shocked. I'm fully aware that I'm no good with people, that's why I prefer machines. To my delight she had gotten flustered, but she could have just as easily shot me down. _What a pain…_

A pain that seems to be worth it.

Seeing Hoshino everyday does wonders for my mood. I find myself snapping at my teammates less and less. I keep my end of the bargain by walking her to work and she keeps hers by making me a bento for lunch. Her lunches are both cute and delicious. I honestly don't know where she gets the time to do all of this.

On days where we get out on time I demand her attention. We eat together and most importantly we drink together. Hoshino is already painstakingly great at dealing with people, get a little alcohol in her and she cuts loose a bit.

If it was anyone else I would just be irritated, but with her it's entertainment and blackmail for when she gets testy and tries to fight with me. I fight back with all of the embarrassing stories and details that she's revealed to me. I love listening to her stories.

It's also fun to have her throw herself at me and tell me how much she likes me.

Hoshino argues with me to the point where I dare to call her Shiraishi. She tears down my carefully placed walls and begins to rebuild some of her own. Although we're not technically dating, she often sends me texts about how much she misses me despite how brazen I am with her.

No matter how mean or rude I am, she never seems to truly mind. She plays the game and she rarely wins.

"Hey...Sasazuka...you're my boyfriend right?" We're sitting together on the rooftop, it's about time to head home but the fresh air always helps to clear my mind. The only thing between us right now is my laptop.

"Why would you ask that?" I basically considered myself her boyfriend although I have yet to stay the night. I have laid on her bed while she cooked dinner, her annoying brother is too easy to mess with.

"Because you're friendly with Sakuragawa...you guys occasionally go drinking like we do."

"You can say the same thing about you and Saeki but I'm not assuming anything." Only because I grabbed him by his coat and demanded to know what his relationship was with her. He had held up his hands in a surrender and told me that they went to the academy together. My instincts didn't completely buy his 'We're just friends' story but I let him go for now.

"He's my drinking buddy but...I always felt like there's something off about him." Her words are sincere and I'm honestly surprised that she had picked up on it.

"Sakuragawa is too loud for me. I admire what she's able to do but I'm not physically attracted to her. She's not my type at all." _Reminds me of Enomoto sometimes with how loud she is._

"So I'm your type then?" She presses the issue, I shut my laptop to stare at her and she immediately begins to sink down into her seat.

"Yes, you're my type. Why else would I go out of my way to do any of this?"

"You're just so much smarter than me...I thought that maybe someone like Sakuragawa would suit you better."

"Idiot." I snort.

She frowns.

"You don't get to decide that. I don't like you because you're an idiot, I like you because you're you. Now stop doubting yourself or else you're in for some serious punishment." To be honest I don't know what it is that I truly like about her, I just like her. She's interesting and I find it easier to arrange and collect my thoughts around her. _Despite how crappy her job is, she works really hard at it and she's great with people. She handles me almost as good as Yanagi does._

"Thank you….you're always so mean but it's merely a cover." Her smile lightens up my world and for a moment I just stare at her. _When in the world did she become this important to me?_

I have to stop myself from grabbing her right now. Instead I stand up and tuck my laptop under my arm. "That'll be ten doughnuts and your eternal gratitude. No complaining."

"Yes, yes! I'll bring them to you tomorrow." She rushes to catch up to me and when she reaches me, I take her hand to escort her home.

* * *

"Sasazuka...let him go."

I have a man in my hands, I literally have a man's life in my hands right now. His neck is in my hands and I can hear him desperately gasping for breath, it's a damn shame that a stack of crates had crushed his legs earlier instead of his head.

The man that I hold is none other than Thomas Ken Nakada and we're currently in a shipment container by the bay. Naturally this is one of the several containers that he's to look at tonight, finding it wasn't easy, waiting was even worse for me. As soon as he had opened the door and stepped in, I pounced. I knocked a stack of weapons over much taller than either of us, and took advantage of the chaos. Not that it really mattered, his legs were more than likely shattered. I had gotten lucky.

Now I hold him hostage, his hands are digging into my wrists but it's a futile attempt, no more than mere scratches. "You don't remember me do you? No, you wouldn't."

He doesn't say anything, he literally can't because I won't allow it. "I'm just another victim to you, someone you've wronged. You're filth and you don't deserve to be alive anymore, I couldn't do anything before but unluckily for you I grew teeth!"

"Sasazuka….let him go."

 _That voice._ I loosen my grip a little and Nakada immediately starts to gulp in as much air as he possibly can. In between gulps he begins to cough, color returning to his face. My fears are confirmed when I take a look over my shoulder. It's her because of course it is. _Why couldn't you just stay out of this?_

Ichika Hoshino stands in the entrance with her hand ready to make a grab for her firearm. I'm not sure if my heart could take it if she points that at me. She'd ruin me more than I already am.

 _I'm already broken though._ "Get out of here you idiot! This has nothing to do with you-"

"Shut up! Not another word from you, you aren't thinking straight or rationally. Who even are you right now because you certainly aren't Sasazuka? That man must have done something absolutely awful for you to even consider this so why?" Her voice never wavers, in fact she almost sound furious. Her bold eyes refuse to leave my own and in that moment I very much wanted her. "This is not who you are Sasazuka! Don't lower yourself to his level...you're stronger than this. Let me arrest only one of you tonight….let him atone for his crimes and rot in a cell for a lifetime. Isn't that better than this? He will suffer."

I know what she's doing. She's trying to get me to step down from the ledge before I decide to jump. If I jump then there's no going back, my life will be over and there's not a damn thing that I can do about it. _So don't jump stupid._ My brain practically screams this at me.

"Don't do him a favor...come back to me instead. I'll call this in and we'll work it out from there alright?" With her free hand she extends it to me. This is a hand that I've held countless times. It's a warm but fragile hand. Her eyes practically beg me to take this hand.

 _She's right...you know that she is. Allowing him to live allows you to see this through and imprison him._ Already my mind is digging up past crimes to bring forward for this investigation.

"Come back to me...he isn't going anywhere anymore. It's over for him." Her voice is gentle, coaxing.

"You should work in hostage negotiation." I sigh and she knows that she's won. As soon as I take her hand she pulls me to her and pulls my head down in her neck. I smell the flowers of her perfume and feel the warmth that only she can seem to give me. Like a mother comforting her child, she rubs my back and even kisses my cheek.

"Don't go somewhere where I cannot follow. Please, lean on me a bit." She whispers sweet words.

 _This is a kindness that I don't deserve._

"Someday you'll tell me all about this and all about that man. It doesn't have to be today but I want to share in your sorrow. I belong to you so act like it, don't leave me out of important things." I cling to her more and more as my adrenaline wears off. Moments ago I would have killed a man, now I don't feel as though I can stand on my own.

"I cannot be left alone with him." I admit my weakness.

She nods, she already knows. "I won't leave you alone. We're a team."

This is Ichika Hoshino, a woman who has no business being here. This is a woman whose voice is like a calming breeze, I'm positive that when it truly counts, she can talk her way through anything. She stands tall on her own and she carves a path with her own two hands. She's an amazing woman.

I don't deserve her.

* * *

 **Done! He's my favorite and I'd literally marry this man if he was real, I'm not usually like this when it comes to anime characters but holy crap he's awesome in my opinion :)**

 **I really appreciate any reviews you leave! I read them all and thank you so much for reading, I'll update again in a week ish.**


	3. Chapter 3 Cat

**First off, sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter up. I work 60 hours a week between 2 jobs so I literally don't get a day off some weeks. I just really enjoy writing. Also I bought the new YS game for the vita...so I might have been playing that in my free-time .**

 **As soon as I saw the preview for this game and the images for it I knew in my heart that this cat man would be my favorite character. How wrong I was, Sasazuka is my favorite of course. I was so upset with how Shiraishi's story ended :( I know I'm not the only one. It felt the most rushed out of all of the routes and I was left with a "That's it?" feeling. I still like Shiraishi's character model and I really like how he can be at times, his voice actor is to die for.**

 **Fun Fact: I live for cats. I cannot have a cat at my current residence but I truly want a cat instead of a child. I don't do well with children but with cats I just flourish. Before anyone makes any wise guy jokes, I only want 1 cat. Only 1. 2 if I happen to find one that absolutely needs a home.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Collar X Malice or any of it's characters or plot lines.**

* * *

"So how does it feel when you fail? Do you feel the weight of their deaths on your shoulders? Do you think about their families and how you could have saved them so much grief and sadness if you had done things differently? Do you think about the things that you could have said instead? I bet someone like you loses sleep at night over these silly emotions."

I remember my meeting with him clearly. I didn't understand who he is at the time and why he's asking what he's asking. All I could think about is how I _hated_ the empty soulless look in his eyes. I wondered what I could say to bring a spark to them, to breathe life into this empty and bored man.

"Leave her alone Shiraishi, she hasn't failed yet." My supervisor's voice is stern and it's meant to be a warning.

" _Yet._ " The man smirks. "But she _will_ fail and it will be her fault. It's inevitable in this line of work."

"What criminals decide to do isn't my fault. I will not accept responsibility for their actions, I will only see to it that justice is served." I spit these words out with more animosity than I had meant to. It's a small slip, I'm playing his game and he knows it.

"Pfft, what a perfectly automatic response. Have they _already_ turned you into a robot?" He probes some more, feeling me out.

I sigh, tired of this already. "You wanted a rise out of me, congratulations. Now, can I actually help you?"

"This is Kageyuki Shiraishi, he's the director of the Field Ops and he works for the crime lab as a profiler, believe it or not. He's a gifted but sadistic profiler, _don't_ let him bully you because believe me he will. He often helps us out by telling us about the attacker, he's too good and unfortunately worth the trouble he causes." My superior is clearly not pleased nor impressed by Shiraishi in the least.

 _A necessary evil._ I can tell that he knows what I'm thinking since his smile gets even bigger. "How in the world did you manage to get promoted?"

"I'm very good at what I do. Perhaps I'll show you sometime and watch you be amazed like everyone else is. Now if you'll excuse me…" He takes a half bow before sauntering off in the direction that I assumed he came from. I watch him go with his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

 _He didn't even ask for my name, does he even care? Probably not._

"He's eccentric and you can consider yourself lucky if you even see him. He tends to come and go as he pleases, tracking him down is a royal pain. I make it a point to try and talk to him as little as humanly possible since it'll only end in annoyance. He gets into your head especially if you don't want him to." My superior sighs, he's clearly had many run ins with Shiraishi.

"I'll do my best to talk to him as much as I can then. I refuse to let him or anyone get to me. I have a job to do and I plan to do it." _I'm good with people, surely I can handle_ _ **one**_ _man. Eccentric or not._

"It's your funeral Hoshino."

* * *

"He's the absolute worst!" I fume to myself after a particularly nasty encounter with Shiraishi. It was all going swell until he started to do that _thing_ that he does. He probes, he feels around and sees all of your insecurities and brings them to the surface in order to use them as his own personal arsenal against you.

He fights dirty.

Since day one I've never avoided him while everyone else ignored him. I would meet him head on and stick it out until he got bored. He'd pry and pry and pry until he'd tire of it and walk away as if he had never even come. He'd purposefully forget my name or perhaps he'd be sitting at my spot whenever I'd walk in, petty things really. He'd point out how useless I am or perhaps tell me that I'm trying too hard, he'd practically beg me for an explosive reaction and I'd calmly spit out my answers one after another.

Like a machine, as he likes to say.

The most infuriating part about it all is that he's good at what he does. He doesn't deserve to be but his profiling skills are off the charts and it's unnerving. He _knows_ that my responses are fake because he always gives me this disappointed look when he's ready to give up, and then he leaves.

I've never boiled over, until today that is.

"Ichika Hoshino….you're such an interesting little thing you know?" He grabs one of my braids and I take a few steps back until I hit one of the office desks. It hadn't occurred to me until now that we're alone, usually Mukai is at least here. "You always try so hard to be the perfect worker and for what? Do you enjoy the glory that you get when you save a hostage? Do you yearn for all of the attention that people around you give you for each and every success?"

He steps close to me, close enough for me to lean back against the desk to get away from him. It's unnerving the way that he can get this close to me so casually.

"Are you enjoying the attention right now? You seem to be although you're a bit frightened, are you not use to a man's attenti-"

"That's enough! If you want to mess with me then fine, but keep your distance because this isn't fair." My own body betrays me. I can feel the heat on my face and hear the tremble in my voice. I am _afraid_ of him, something I've never really felt from him before. Normally he just tries to get a rise out of me but this, this feels different and I hate it.

"Finally, not a robotic response, I knew you had it in you. All it took is a little coaxing." His smile fades but his tone remains light and condescending. "You really don't get a lot of male attention do you?"

"You're joking right?" I couldn't believe my ears, he couldn't be serious right now.

"You should just be honest with me, then I wouldn't have to resort to tactics like this."

"Or you could just leave me alone? You literally can go and bother anyone else...pick a different person." _Especially if you're going to toy with me like this._

"There's something about you that I just find so interesting. I'm not even sure what it is."

 _Is that what this is about? He's just going to mess with me until he's decided that he's bored? No._ I scowl at him and give his chest a good healthy shove. "I told you that's enough! You can judge how I work all you want but don't mess with me like this. It isn't right to mess with my feelings like this." I remove myself from the desk and head for the door practically fuming. My face is redder than the sun but who knows what it's truly from.

"I wasn't lying." He tells me right before I slam the door shut behind me.

"He's the worst!" I try to calm my body down by pacing back and forth. I feel weird all over, hot from how close he was. _I'm not use to_ _ **anyone**_ _being that close to me. For him to mess with me like that is cruel._

Shiraishi is attractive, he just is. He's tall, older, successful, and quite handsome. He has his life together and he's not even _that_ old. Although his sense of style is unusual, it certainly doesn't bury his handsome face and soft hair. The only thing that he really doesn't have going for him is his rudeness. He's blunt and doesn't follow social normalities, it's almost like he _enjoys_ breaking them.

I'm fine with him messing with me. I'm fine with the fact that he tells me I'm basically useless and that I'm not cut out for my job. I'm fine because I _know_ that he's trying to get a rise out of me. He's always respected my personal boundaries.

Until now.

Now it's awful. My body still hums from the feeling of him getting too close to me. _Is it because he's a man or is it because he's Shiraishi?_ I ponder this with a frown because I don't know. I honestly don't and I probably don't want to. _How irritating_. It's terribly irritating how a single man can make my own body feel so foreign.

* * *

Over the following week I've seen Shiraishi more times then the entirety of my police career. It's both irritating and a bit...welcoming although I literally ignore him until he leaves. This is hard to do at times since he quite literally focuses all of his attention on me.

He leaves small gifts. Trinkets like charms or desserts. Like a cat bringing me its kill, he drops off something small every morning. A flower, a piece of cake, or perhaps a phone charm. They're charming little gifts and as the week goes by I can see them getting more and more personal because he's no longer just guessing. He's not just dropping off things that every girl likes, he's dropping off things that _I_ like. At one point he dropped off a pair of white cat ear hair clips to match his black ones.

The next part of his assault is his constant pestering. He buzzes around me like a fly, poking at me and trying to get me to acknowledge his existence. He'll sit in the chair next to me and stare at me while I do my work. Sometimes he'll talk to me, trying to feel me out and to get me to reply. I do my best to ignore him but it's honestly hard. How can I ignore a man who's _obviously_ trying so hard to get my attention? It's almost cruel.

 _He reminds me of Noir at home. She's always sitting on my books whenever I want to read. If I put her down then she gets back up._

"Hoshino...how long are you going to stay mad at me?" He's leaning into his palms, his smile is gone which means he's probably bored of this. He sounds miserable. "A woman's wrath is miserable. I'd rather you hit me or _literally_ anything except this awful silence."

Silence is deafening. It's the perfect punishment for someone like him.

On day eight I didn't get a gift. I assumed that he had decided that enough was enough and gave up on me. I felt sadness when I didn't see anything from him. I waited all shift to see, perhaps even _hoping_ that he'd show up at some point. When he didn't, my heart ached a little. I missed him and I missed his attention.

When I go to leave he's there, standing in the doorway with his hands shoved in his pockets. I stare at him in disbelief and then I smile at him partially because I'm happy to see him, partially because he's out of breath and probably out of shape. "Did you run here?" I ask.

He doesn't answer me at first. Perhaps his magnificent brain hadn't registered the fact that I had spoken. Perhaps he thought that he had imagined it. "We're on speaking terms now? Was it because I gave you space? Or perhaps you spoke to me on accident just now? I did indeed run here...since I couldn't do anything this morning I decided to try and catch you before you left. I lost track of time though…"

"Did you need something from me today?" I decide to keep talking to him. I _missed_ him today and it's a bit concerning.

"Can I walk you home? To make up for this morning?"

 _Is he...nervous? I don't think I've_ _ **ever**_ _seen him actually nervous. He's always so sure of himself, now it's like he's walking on ice._ "That'd be nice of you, thank you."

"Yes? Great. I wanted to talk to you anyways."

 _Oh really?_ I follow him out and tell him my address. It's not too far from here so this will be a short walk. We walk with a fair amount of distance between us.

"They say that persistence is key but they never explained to me how miserable it would be to have you ignore everything I did. It was quite mean."

I frown, it almost sound like _I'm_ in the wrong. "You disrespected my boundaries."

"And for that I'm very...sorry. I'm not like you...I'm no good with people when it comes to their emotions and what's right. I made you uncomfortable and I don't get why that matters when you looked like you enjoyed yourself."

"This doesn't sound like much of an apology." I sigh.

"I'm trying to explain myself! I'm downright awful when it comes to people's emotions. If anyone is like a robot it's probably me. I'm apologizing because my actions obviously bothered you, I'm telling you that I _don't_ understand why it does."

"I barely even know you that's why! You can't just go around doing that to just anyone you know?"

"You're not just anyone though, I like you."

 _So blunt. Does he even get what he's saying?_ "I think you mean that you like _messing_ with me."

He shakes his head. "That's true as well but this is different. It was so satisfying to see your face turn that shade, I wanted it Hoshino. 'It should only be that color when I'm around' is what I thought at the time. Then you shut me out and it hurt. I didn't think that it would, but it made me miserable honestly."

"I didn't...I didn't exactly enjoy it either okay?" I let him have this. "I don't exactly get it either but...I really enjoyed having you around these past few days okay? Sometimes you're a bit insensitive...but I felt like you were trying."

"I tried for days. I had no idea what I was doing and it was awful. Everyday that you ignored me it just got worse and I hated it. I feel so much better after hearing your voice again."

"You're too much…" All of this honestly makes my head a bit fuzzy. All of this talk makes my face feel hot.

"You're blushing for me again."

"You're mistaken. It's the lighting, thank you for walking me home." We reach my apartment and I smile because Noir is at the window pressing her face against the glass, I can see her tail whipping behind her. Her yellow eyes are judging Shiraishi, she _dares_ him to come inside.

"You have a cat!" He stares up at her fondly and even waves at her.

"Her name is Noir...maybe I'll let you two visit another day." _I'm not quite ready to invite him into my place just yet._

"Cats are wonderful...hopefully I can see the both of again soon." He keeps his distance but his eyes are now locked onto mine. I've never seen him ask for permission for anything before but I know that he's asking now even though he hasn't spoken.

I hesitate. _This man is quite troublesome. Do I seriously want to get involved with him?_ My feet decide for me as I walk up to him and wrap my arms around his tall body. He tenses up at first, unsure if he's allowed to even move. I take this moment to breathe him in and enjoy how warm he is. "Hug me back…" My voice is muffled as I bury my face into his shirt. _He's so warm...despite how socially awkward he is, he's still human._ He feels good.

When he embraces me it's comforting. His hair tickles my neck and I can hear his breath in my ear. I think about his warmth and about how he smells like fresh linens. I think how secure I feel and how fuzzy my brain really is.

 _I can think straight. Is this what it means to like someone? Or is this what hugging a man feels like?_ Due to my thoughts, I cling longer than I probably should have.

"Goodnight Hoshino." He lets me go and even waits for me to walk inside of my apartment. Noir greets me, sniffing at me and eventually rubbing against me to reclaim me as her own. I give her a few scratches behind her ears before heading into my bedroom for the night, my thoughts filled with everything that's happened tonight.

It's a tad overwhelming.

* * *

"Whoah! So cute!"

I wore them because he gave them to me, and because I _really_ like cats as well. It took awhile for me to get them in place and even longer for me to feel okay with them. I marveled at my reflection in the mirror, pulling lightly at the hair clips like I always do to Noir.

Noir didn't seem too impressed, She took one look at me and went off into another room.

Shiraishi however, was most impressed. As soon as I opened my door, he went to pull at them. "I knew that they'd suit you! We match now!"

"I figured it'd suit today's theme since you've come to meet Noir. She's probably on the couch leering at you since you're touching me." Noir is a mommy's girl since I'm literally the only person in her daily life.

He peeks around me, which isn't hard since he's taller than me. "She is, I'm going to go and say 'hi'." I watch him cautiously approach my child. She stares at him, frozen to her spot, her ears pinned back. She's certainly not use to people besides me.

"Hello there sweetie…" He sits on my floor, going to her level. From the inside of his coat he pulls out a bag of treats. "Hopefully you're not too picky." He tosses her one and at first she ignores it, too busy staring at him to really care.

While he coaxes my shut in, I head into the kitchen to finish up my dessert and get a kettle of tea on. I used a cookie cutter to make little cat faced cookies and now I'm adding details with icing since they've cooled down a bit. I'm pleased at how cute they actually turned out!

` I plate up my cookies and turn around to check on Shiraishi. He has a path of treats leading closer and closer to him, Noir is on her third treat and she's within grabbing distance, he doesn't reach for her though, instead he watches her eat.

"She's just like you, you know? Hard to coax and easy to offend." Shiraishi dips his head back to smile at me and I pout.

"I am _not_ easy to offend, you're just...you take things too far. I understand you a bit better now." We haven't really announced anything yet but I honestly consider him my boyfriend. He's the one that I spend my free time with and he's always dropping by my department just to talk to me and steal my lunch. I literally pack extra in case he comes that day.

On days that he's busy or his secretary finally catches him, I drop in for a visit. It's _always_ a flurry of paperwork, sketches, and Mukai screaming at him about the various things that he half asses.

"I _don't_ see what you like about him." She's said this to me more than once. They always go back and forth, some days it's fun to watch, other days it's exhausting. She does her best to keep him in line though and I honestly think that Mukai is good for him.

Sometimes I let him walk me home and other days he stays really late. I bring him food and stroke his head to give him encouragement.

We hold hands sometimes on our walks. I don't know who grabs first but we always levitate towards each other until we end up with each other's hands. His hands are so big compared to mine and he always tells me about how easy it'd be to accidentally break me.

"See? You're not so tough are you? Even the toughest of strays can't resist my secret weapon." He has a fuzzy cat toy that resembles a cat tail. Noir cannot resist the way that he's temptingly whipping it around on the floor. Her eyes follow like crazy before she's after it, claws of fury as she tries to catch it. Like a skilled cat tamer that he apparently is, he whips it out from her grasp.

I watch them play until Nor gets either tired or too irritated, she walks up to Shiraishi and claims him as her own by sitting in his lap and stretching.

"I'm almost jealous…" I tell him as I watch her get comfortable, I have now joined him on the floor to pet Noir as she tries to sleep.

"You shouldn't be, I'm honestly here for you. The cat was just an excuse to be allowed inside your home." The cat toy tickles as he teasingly runs it against my right cheek and down my neck. "I can play with you as well if you want me to." He flicks it under my chin, leaving hot tickles around my neck.

"Shiraishi..." Of course I thought about how the two of us were going to be alone together, in fact a part of me _wanted_ to be alone together.

"I'll wait for your permission in case you get mad at me again." The fuzzy toy heads further south and I swallow.

 _He's teasing me, he isn't asking for permission at all._

"My goodness that's enough!" He takes the toy away and sets it beside him where Noir takes a lazy swipe. "I can't handle anymore of that cute face of yours otherwise I might lose myself."

My body feels like it's burning. I'm confused, a bit disappointed, and excited all at once. I don't know what to do with myself and it's a bit frustrating. "Shiraishi."

"Disappointed? I'm sorry kitten."

"..." I take his hand and bring it up to my cheek so he can feel how warm my face is. His hand migrates towards my lips and he rubs his fingertips along them. I close my eyes to enjoy his touch, wondering if he'll even follow through with this.

When his forehead touches mine, I lean in towards him, searching and wanting. "You're so cute…" His breath is on my lips before his actual lips touch mine. I'm not exactly skilled in this area but I'm a fast learner and he's a good teacher. He kisses me dizzy and I lose myself a bit in this euphoria, it's wonderful, wet, and warm.

When he lets me go, I open my eyes and he's smiling at me. There's a tinge to his cheeks and his lips look red from their workout. I brush my nose up against his and let out a satisfied sigh. My body aches but surely that's a feeling for another time.

"If you run away I'll chase you. If you ignore me I'll be persistent. This is my commitment."

"I don't want to run. I want to stay like this." I lean in for another kiss except his finger stops me.

"I mean it, I'm not messing with you right now. I'm always...afraid that you'll think I'm teasing you in important times like this."

"Shiraishi I already thought...I've never planned on seeing other people anyways. Since day one you've made me feel different, I don't want to lose that feeling." It's true. As irritating as it was at first, Shiraishi is the only one who makes me feel...uplifted and important. He's the only one who makes my body hot and I've constantly thought about him when he's not around. It's embarrassing but it's true.

"I'll hold you accountable." Is all that he says to me before we kiss again. I lose myself once more and I will never let go of this feeling.

* * *

"I tried so hard…" Hot tears roll down my face, drenching the coat of the man that came running as soon as I had texted him. Not that it mattered, everyone knew already and it kills. He had been texting frantically as soon as he had found out and it took time for me to even respond. _My heart feels like it's dying._ "B-But...it wasn't enough. Why wasn't it enough? Why wasn't _**I**_ enough?" I can hear the hysteria in my voice and it shakes me. I'm always so in control of my life.

I work hard for the people around me and for the things that I have. With my own two hands I go out and get the things that I need and want. I don't have anyone to help me, it's always just been me.

Except Shiraishi now.

"I could have...I could have said something else or used as different tone. I could have said so many...so many different things." I don't even know if he can even understand my blubbering. I just need to get it out. He doesn't seem to mind though, he just holds me, rubs my quivering back, and listens. "I called them you know...her family and they...I'll never forget her mother's wails Shiraishi. That sound will haunt me."

I shouldn't have called them. My superior told me not to but I felt like it was my responsibility at the time. I needed to atone for this. I felt like I had to or else I could never forgive myself. I had to take responsibility and a part of my severely regrets it.

"You were right though you know? Everyone was right...I'm not cut out for this. I'm not ready to fail." I wasn't ready to hear the shots fire off, to hear two bodies drop to the ground as the attacker killed the hostage and then himself. I wasn't ready to drop the phone and feel the shock of my own failures.

"You're so wrong that it hurts. _Every_ life is important to someone and you've saved so many. What if someone else was on the line at the time? They could have failed but you didn't. Take responsibility Hoshino," His voice is exactly what I need. An anchor to who I am. "Save more lives, learn from this and save more lives. You'll never forget this so learn from it okay? Pick yourself back up because you're stronger than this. If you quit then you're letting their lives go to waste."

 _Live for those who have been lost. Fight another day to save another life. Get back up._ I tell myself this to motivate myself. I repeat it over and over again in my head until my body finally stops quivering, the tears just won't stop. Who knows how long it will be until they finally stop. "You're right…" I whisper because it's the best that I can manage.

"That's my girl. We can stay like this for as long as you need so don't worry, just breathe." We do. He rubs my back and wipes away my tears. Hours pass and we stay like this until my tired eyes finally cause me to fall asleep in his supportive arms.

* * *

"I think Noir is adjusting well." I set another box on top of my stack in our bedroom. Noir is already sound asleep in the cat tower that Shiraishi had bought and set up for her. For hours she had cowered und his...our bed before getting daring and coming out to sniff around.

My lease is up this month and instead of renewing it, Shiraishi suggested that I move in. He called it a 'trial period' to see if I'd like living with him. I've been over a few times to cook him meals, wake him up, and even clean up his place. The idea of us living together seemed right to me since I already spend quite a bit of time here.

"Are _you_ ready to share your space?" I had asked him.

He nodded without hesitation. "Only if you're able to put up with me, besides I've always wanted a cat."

Noir loves him, the traitor. Everytime he comes over she'd be in his lap or circling him meowing until he gave in and pet her. My child has now become our child, he spoils her with treats and lots of playtime.

He spoils me as well. We went furniture shopping to pick out a few things that I like. He also bought some new kitchenware and a large table for us to eat at.

This step feels right.

I wear my clips to work now, which drives my department mad. They think his influence is spreading and it terrifies them, it's bad enough that he drops by. Mukai also let her distaste be known, she proclaimed a little too loudly that I have horrible taste in men.

Somedays I agree with her. We argue often since he can be insensitive and impulsive at times. I literally have to lay it out for him to understand, after a bit of fighting he usually apologises. Emotions are hard for him and evidently due to his bluntness he's never really dated much but he's trying, and for that I can forgive him for most things.

Plus he can irritatingly persuasive at times.

"Shiraishi...we have more boxes to carry in." I groan. He's got me pinned beneath him on our bed, his cheek is rubbing against my own. "Another time-"

"Pfft, we have all day for unpacking. We should take a break and perhaps nap instead. That's what Noir is doing."

"She's a cat!"

"She's got some great ideas. Come on Hoshino, I'm tired." He nuzzles into the side of my neck and I know that I've been defeated. With most things, he gets his way or argues his point until I give in. I try not to too much but with him it's difficult.

My hand comes up to caress his hair. This is a man who I feel strongly about. Someone who I _need_ to see everyday in order to feel whole. As irritating as he is, he's someone that I feel like I can't live without.

I'm not sure if I can nap with him on top of me like this. Like a cat ignoring my boundaries, he's made himself comfortable without even caring if I'm comfortable. _He's always like this...he's better about it now but in the beginning I could have killed him._ Someway, somehow, this man wormed his way into my life and he seems to have no intentions of leaving.

Not that I really want him to.

* * *

 **There it be! Shiraishi! I don't know which character I wish to upload next. I have Okazaki's typed but I don't have Mineo's typed so it'll probably be Okazaki's since I'm lazy :) thanks for taking the time to read, please review if you have the time! See you all whenever I get around to getting the next chapter up, probably within 7-10 days depending on my work schedule.  
**


	4. Chapter 4 Mine

**When it comes to Okazaki I didn't really care for his silly side. I thought he took it wayyyyy too far with the whole protection thing but I really liked how Ichika handled it in the end instead of just letting him get away with it xD  
**

 **His CG's were sinful ;D gorgeous man with gorgeous CG's. His whole "Did you really think I couldn't tell that you were lying" scene really sent chills down my spine, it was awesome! So for this chapter I focused on that, I focused on that shiver that he gave me and wrote up his part where he's just in that state.**

 **This is fluffy, don't read this if you don't like fluff xD**

 **I admit that I don't USUALLY do fluff. I feel like I always make it awkward and my wording is never correct but I'm happy with the way that this one turned out :)**

 **Disclaimer: I do now own Collar x Malice or any of it's characters or plot lines.**

* * *

 _ **"I care about you."**_

 _ **"Then stay with me forever."**_

When you fall in love with someone you usually have a reason for it. You're physically or romantically attracted to them or perhaps you like the way that they make you feel. Maybe it's their job or their values that makes you love them, whatever it is you just tend to _know_. When asked 'Why do you love them' you tend to have a straightforward answer or perhaps a cheesy 'let me count the ways'.

Desiring someone is very different from loving someone. They're similar in the way that they can make you do crazy things, they're different in the way that they make you feel. Being physically and sexually attracted to someone generally leads to desire instead of love. If you're lucky then you'll get both or perhaps along the way, desire will turn into love.

"You make my head feel so fuzzy…" I throw my coat to the floor as soon as he enters my apartment. There's no other way to really explain how this man makes me feel. From the moment that I saw him I knew that I wanted him and to my luck, he wanted me to.

"You're so cute when you're like this." He starts to unbutton his shirt and I rush into help him. This man is powerful, I can see it in his muscles and in the way that he moves. I notice when he puts his firearm on my nightstand and I have to wonder if he's a better shot than myself.

 _This man is dangerous...and yet I cannot stay away._ We barely say much more before he picks me up and carries me to my bed. We'll spend hours here before he'll leave, whether or not he'll be here in the morning is a mystery.

When we're done he covers me up with my blanket and places a kiss on my forehead. "You'll call me if you need anything right? Don't be afraid to text me okay?"

"You're persistent," I look over my shoulder to meet his gaze, his hair tickles my cheek. "I don't believe that my life is anywhere near as exciting as you think it is."

"I know plenty, so I mean it okay?" His smile turns into a frown and my face gets hot. There's not a single doubt in my mind that he knows who I am. I work for the SRCPO and even I can get information on people. As a member of the Special Police I imagine he can get any information that he really wants.

 _Am I attracted to him because he's in the force like me?_ This is the third time that we've met up and I still can't tell you why I keep telling him to come over. The simple and easy answer is that he's physically attractive. The complex answer is… _I'm not really sure._

"Come and see me again." I lazily tell him this since my body feels exhausted. He draws out my energy and takes it for himself I swear.

"Your wish is my desire, Princess." He pulls the covers over my head, just how I like it. I secretly love how he calls me Princess, I don't tell him this but he seems to get it. He locks the door as he leaves and I let what I've done settle in once more.

The first time we had hooked up it was wild and something fierce. It was like he was possessing me and marking me as his own. He left marks on my body and he made me feel very much like a woman. I remember him whispering ' **I hope you know what you're getting into** ' when I suggested that we head back. I wasn't drunk that night, I admit to having one drink but I knew exactly what I was doing. I _wanted_ and I _needed_ this, I needed to break my shell.

If you had told me last year that I would hook up with a random stranger than I would call you crazy. This is out of the picture, I simply just _don't_ do things like that. My life is planned and full of order, I've finally had enough and threw it all to the wind that night.

So for once in my life I went with an impulse. I saw him, thought he was attractive, and went for it. Once the ball was rolling, it was all too intoxicating to stop. The first time it happened I honestly didn't even notice his SP badge. He accepted my offer fairly quickly, perhaps he too was lonely.

When I awoke the next morning he was already gone. I barely even remembered his name at the time and my whole body was on fire with the shame of what I had done. It wasn't just shame though, as I stood up and stretched, I realized that I was proud of myself. I'm a 21 year old single woman with an aspiring career, I _deserved_ men's attention if I wanted it.

Upon further investigation I found his number already programmed into my phone, whether or not I did this I don't remember. There was a ' **I locked the door on the way out, sorry that work interrupted our morning** ' text that had a frowny emoji after it. To me it felt cute to come from a man who could probably break me in two rather easily. The second text read ' **There's some coffee and pain pills on the counter. I'll try not to be so rough on you next time.** ' this text had another sad emoji after it.

 _What would a sexy desireable woman say back to all of this?_ My own thoughts were to ignore his texts and to pretend that this _never_ happened. Still, it was nice to know that he wanted to wake up with me this morning. _That's no fun though._

Against my better judgement I had sent ' **Next time? Pretty confident in yourself to think we'll go a second round.** ' and then I had quickly shoved my phone into my purse and went to go and shower. I had taken the pills with me.

Despite my remarks, there was indeed a second time. There were several days of flirtatious messages in between these days. I sent him pictures of me at work and sometimes of me at home. He'd return the favor, although most of his were outside during a stakeout. Sometimes he'd send me pictures of the cringy snacks that he likes, I'd always question how he stays alive.

For a few days he'd press coming over and I would tell him no. Part of me wasn't ready to see him again, another part wanted to play hard to get. It worked, he left me flowers at work and even sent me messages telling me that if he didn't see me soon then he'd just show up at my work.

 _He's pushy...but he's still minding my boundaries._

The night that I decided that I was ready, I send him a single ' **Come over.** ' message. It didn't take him long to get here, less than fifteen minutes.

"I was in the neighborhood." I assumed that this was all that he could tell me, not that I cared all too much due to the fact that he had me up against a wall at the time. "You weren't receiving entertainment from someone else were you?"

His question had caught me off balance. I hadn't thought of taking on _another_ lover. The very idea was new to me and I honestly didn't think I could handle it. "Are you worried about me?" I teased him, curiosity getting the better of me. _Perhaps I seem like the type of woman to have multiple men? Is this a compliment? It doesn't feel like it._

"Of course I am. Men are wolves and they're liable to steal you away if I let them. Even if you are, I'll make you and your body forget about them." His eyes seduced me. I couldn't look away and even now I have troubles.

The second time he wasn't nowhere near as rough on me. He remembered things that I liked and helped me along through things that I didn't understand. He kissed me until I couldn't think straight and continued to mark what he considered his. I didn't mind the marks one bit, in fact I was a bit proud of them since they weren't where anyone could easily see them.

In the morning he was there, sleeping peacefully beside me with a face mask that I hadn't noticed he had brought. It's cute eyes hid the ones that capture my heart so easily. I watched him sleep and played with his soft hair.

 _This man puts on a cute front, but it all feels so fake. When he's with me like this, it feels so raw and open. It feels so real because I cannot hide from him._ He had told me the second time that he's not a good man, that he has an ugly soul. _Maybe not ugly, but perhaps selfish._

Selfish in a way that he seems to want to keep me. Selfish in the way that he marks me even though we aren't technically together. Selfish in the way that he trains my body to respond to his. Selfish in the way he kisses me sweetly and calls me his 'Princess'.

I made him breakfast, which he ate gratefully before trapping me against my fridge and telling me about how our third encounter will come sooner, not later. "You're _mine_ Princess."

His words are absolute. As he left I slid down my fridge and thought about my actions and what I'm actually doing right now. My mind comes up blank, I had and still have no answers.

 _Maybe it's better this way?_ Not knowing.

I waited three days before I asked him to come over for the third time. Three days of 'good morning' and 'you better dream about me' texts. Three days of him and his emoji messages, of him telling me about how beautiful I am. Three days of him asking about me and telling me to text him if I need anything. Three days of feeling that urge to see him once more. He's my drug and I needed a hit.

' **Tell me you're free later.** ' I receive this text later that day. We have been texting all day about the various things going on in our lives. He's on duty and I'm taking the usual phone calls.

' **I have to stay later, the calls just won't stop.** ' It's the truth. _Honestly my body can't take another encounter._

His reply comes seconds later. ' **Let me walk you home.** '

I smile, he's never done that before. He's teased me about it but he's never followed through with it. It's kind of nice to have someone worry about you.

"Is your smile a ' **yes** '?"

I nearly drop my phone at the sound of his voice. Sure enough, standing in the doorway is the man I've been seeing lately. Who knows how long he's been standing there watching me. _When was the last time I looked up?_

"Hoshino...is there a...oh my you're SP? I don't think I've ever seen one of you guys up close before." Precious Mochida stands up from his chair and makes his way over to him. They shake hands, Mochida is a people magnet. "Is there something that we can help you with?"

"Kei Okazaki, I'm here for Ichika."

Mochida glances at me and my face starts to heat up. I can't help it, no one around here calls me by my first name. _He's done way more than call you by your first name._ You could probably fry eggs on my face.

"Oh? Is there...she's not in any trouble is she?" Like a protective father, Mochida doesn't just back down.

Okazaki leers over him with one of his ever-present smiles. I secretly wonder if he's sizing Mochida up, it's highly unnecessary. "No trouble, we're seeing each other. I came to pick her up when she's ready to head home." Brazen as ever, he tells it like it is.

 _ **'You're mine'**_ His words play in my head and make me shiver. It's a good shiver which surprises me. "I'm so sorry Mochida, I told him I'll be-"

"Nonsense! I should be able to handle it so don't worry about it. I remember when I was your age and in love, he's quite the catch...certainly better than most of mine." I cannot stand to hear this as I grab my purse and my coat. _This is clearly a big misunderstanding._ Mochida gives me the thumbs up as I hurry past, Okazaki takes my purse and wraps a possessive arm around my shoulders.

"You look even cuter in person in your uniform, Officer Ichika." His words tease me.

"What in the world was that back there?" My voice admittedly sounds panicked and it's because I'm horrible confused. _He made it sound like we're together,_ _ **together**_ _._

"Was what? I'm picking up my Princess from work is all...am I not allowed to do that?"

 _Don't give me that!_ "Mochida thinks we're dating." I cut straight to the actual point.

He shrugs. "Let him think that. Let everyone think that, it'll keep people away from what's mine."

 _That's not even fair! That's just being selfish once again!_ "You can't...you can't just do and say stuff like that."

"Why?"

 _Does he_ _ **seriously**_ _not get it?_ I frown. "Because it isn't fair to me! What if I want to see other people? I can't if you tell everyone that you're dating me."

He stops us and suddenly I feel _very_ small.

 _Do_ _ **not**_ _let him bully you._

I meet his alluring gaze head on and even cross my arms to prepare for battle. His smile is gone now and I _refuse_ to be intimidated.

"Do _you_ want to see other men?" His voice is light, fake.

 _Don't back down, you don't actually belong to him._ "I'd like to have the option if I desire to." _Lies, I don't want anyone else._ Even now I cannot think of a single person I'd rather be with.

He knows this, he's trained to see through people's lies, _my_ lies. I can tell that he knows because his body relaxes and he runs a hand lovingly through my hair. "Tell me the truth and I'll take responsibility. _Don't_ lie to me or I'll shut you up until you tell me what I want to hear."

Despite how forceful he sounds, it's rather sweet. _Am I messed up for thinking this way?_ I melt. "I don't know what it is about you, but I don't want anyone else." Embarrassed I drop my gaze but he won't let me. He catches my chin in his hand and raises it back up.

"Call me Kei, from now on I'll walk you to and from work. If you'll let me I'd like to eat breakfast with you and to protect you. Tell people about me Ichika, brag about me to your friends and co-workers. Own me like I own you."

"I...I don't know how." It's the truth. How do you tell people about a man who you've met up with four times now? How do you tell them when you yourself barely know them?

"We'll figure it out together. Spoil me Ichika and let me do the same for you. Only look at me from now on alright? I want you to only think of me even if I'm not around. I'll get upset if I see you with men I don't know."

 _Is this how he shows affection? By monopolizing me and guiding me? By protecting me?_ It makes me feel warm, all of these things that he's saying. Once again I don't fully understand my feelings. All I truly know is that I _want_ to spend more time with him. _I don't want anyone else honestly, I can't think of anyone I'd rather be with._ All that I can think to say is "Okay."

That's all he really needed. He openly kisses me, right where anyone can see us. This kiss is so different our past. It's sweet and affectionate, it allows me to kiss him back if I want. When I do he rewards me with a pleased noise and a small nip on my bottom lip.

 _I feel like we're doing this all backwards. We started out intimate and now we're going to get to know each other. We already know each other's bodies and now it's time to get to know each other's personalities. If this is wrong, I couldn't care less._

* * *

"Want some company?" I offered. I had been on and off watching him for about half an hour. He had sat here alone with his phone and a tall glass of water. "Or are you waiting for someone" _That'd make sense since he keeps checking his phone._

"The only person I was waiting for is you. You took way too long to decide to come and talk to me, I thought I'd have to come to you." He leans his chin onto his palms, clearly happy to see me.

 _He's sharp….that smile though. Is that what drew me in?_ No, what initially led me to him is his shoulders. One look and anyone can tell he's not someone you mess with. He's built for protection and destroying, it helps that he's undeniably handsome. _Those eyes are nothing to dismiss._

"You should have come to me, I look desperate now that you know I was watching you." I'd say I'm good with people. It's my job to be good with people. To say I'm good at flirting...is stretching it. If I loosen up I feel like I can do anything, if I get sloshed then I'll make a fool out of myself. So I stuck to just one drink with a higher alcohol content, just enough to help me cut loose a bit and maybe enjoy myself.

"I _really_ wanted to see if you could build up the courage to walk over here...although I get the feeling that you're not here for small talk."

 _Am I that obvious? Do I have '_ _ **Come home with me**_ _' written across my damn forehead?_ "I seem pretty desperate don't I?"

"You're adorable, I'm just good at reading people. Sit next to me?" When I did, he put his arm around my waist and pulled me so close that we were touching, I was practically on his lap. This is a bar so no one paid us any mind as he whispered embarrassing things into my ear, things that he planned on doing later if I allowed him.

 _This is what you wanted right?_ I ask myself this as something new stirs within me: desire. I wanted this man and it very much sounded like he wanted me as well. _You don't have to if you don't want to, he'll stop if you ask, and this doesn't have to happen again. No one is allowed to think less of you._

"Your face turns crimson just from that?" He teased me, running a finger along my cheek.

"Just wait until you see it later." My resolve is clear, I go in for the kill. "Want to get out of here?" At the time I didn't even know his name, I don't even recall when he told it to me. He probably whispered it into my ears.

* * *

"I miss you." Too impatient to wait, he hugs me from behind just as I hang up the phone.

"You literally just saw me about eleven hours ago. I haven't really moved from this spot." It's the truth. The phone has been going off non-stop today and I haven't really had to leave to check on people.

I can feel him frowning into my neck. "And? That's an absurd amount of time to go without seeing each other."

We haven't been dating long, but he's extremely clingy with me. A few months isn't much time but I'm already starting to feel better about our relationship. It's no longer us hooking up and then him leaving.

He insists upon walking me hand-in-hand to and from work as long as his own job permits it. Depending on how late we get back, we'll eat dinner together. I always make us breakfast since it's easy to cook for two. This is a routine that I've come to actually enjoy, I look forward to my mornings.

Okazaki is different. He has two modes that I desperately need to get use to. The first is a mode that I never saw at first. It's almost cute, he acts completely oblivious to everything around him despite the fact that I _know_ better. This is a side of him that everyone sees. He teases those that he likes with a light hearted laugh and he never really stops smiling. He's almost like a completely different person as he holds my hand and ever so innocently worms his way into my innocent heart. This side is kind, cute, and a bit overwhelming.

The other is a side that I met in the bar. A cunning and alluring man. His fake facade disappears and he becomes the special police officer that he claims to be. This side is openly possessive and he tells me about how he's actually "rotten" on the inside. This side _makes_ you believe that he's the dangerous man that his title claims to be.

I like both side of him. When he's smiling away he holds my hand and tells me how cute I am. He buys me flowers and sticks them in my hair. I love his ' **goodmorning** ' and ' **goodnight** ' texts that always have emojis. He promises to protect me and frets over every little thing that I do.

I desire his second side. I'm so physically attracted to him that I worry that others are as well. _How could they not be?_ Is something that I often think. I love how raw and open he is with me when he tells me about himself. As frustrating as it is that he can basically read my mind, it's also a bit of a relief. I literally _cannot_ lie to him because he basically sees right through me. It's not like I try to lie to him, he can just tell when I'm averse to things or even when I'm nervous.

"Don't you...ever see other women?" I ask him this because it's been bothering me for awhile. I don't exactly have a lot of male friends but I have a few. I've literally never seen another woman hanging around him. _I wonder what I'd do._ I try not to think about it much, I get the feeling that I'd be the jealous type.

"No not really...I don't really need to see other women when I have you right?" His answer is so nice, obviously handcrafted for me. I frown because I know better and this gets a laugh out of him. "I'm serious! You're all I need….women and I don't tend to get along very well. People have a hard time putting up with me. They call me 'pushy' and women flip it and call me 'creepy'. They can't handle how I really am, how intense I am. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you."

"Really? I thought you'd be rather popular with the ladies." The smile, the bod, and the handsome face. Plus he has a really great job.

He shrugs. "At first yes, unlike you, my mood isn't consistent. I've never really found anyone that I've liked enough to actually _try_ with. Until now, that's why you can't leave me because I'll literally be heart broken. I'll go crazy Ichika."

He does this often, wants reassurance that I'm not going to leave him or run away from him. I can see why some people might be scared of him, but I see him as someone who will protect. _If you can get through him and his defenses then you must be some sort of superhuman._ His shot is even better than mine and that's scary, he's a quick draw. _Is there anything he's bad at?_

There's not a doubt in my mind that this man could do anything he sets his mind to. _He says he's bad at cooking and cleaning but I bet he's barely even tried. Maybe I'll teach him one day._

"What about you?" He turns my question around on me.

I blush, my reasoning sounds so silly compared to his. "I've...I've dated. I've just never really found anyone that I'm so physically attracted to. That's what it was at first but now it's because no one's ever made me feel so safe...no guy has ever completed me as much as you." I have male friends, I'm just not attracted to them. I don't get that special fire that Okazaki awakens within me.

"A physical attraction that grew into something more, I wonder if things would have played out the same if we had met under different circumstances." His smile is there and I begin to wonder the same thing.

 _Would he have been honest with me or just show his usual pushy nice guy side?_ "I think we would have been fine." I say this because I know it's true. Without Okazaki I wouldn't have grown to where I am now, he helped make me like this.

"I hope so." He takes my hand.

* * *

"Where is he?" I'm sitting in my chair with my coat off so I can tend to my wounds. It's not much honestly, just a large purple bruise on my arm from where he had grabbed me, and a gash on my cheek from where the knife bit in. The cheek bled like crazy and honestly looked way worse than it actually is, Mochida is next to me with our first aid.

I imagine my back is extremely bruised from when I hit the brick alleyway wall. "Quarantine...I apprehended him, he'll get a few nights in jail for the assault, that was stupid of him. It didn't have to end viol-ow! Ow, ow, ow!" The antiseptic stings as Mochida dabs at my cheek. I resist the urge to swat at him.

"You deserve this! You should have called it in instead of taking it on by yourself!" Like a good dad, Mochida chastises me before attacking my wound once again. "I doubt that you'll need stitches, you got lucky."

"I wasn't going to just let him harass a citizen! What kind of officer would I be if I just let criminals walk all over people?"

I had gone out to grab some snacks on my lunch when I had discovered the commotion. Right beside the store is a small alleyway which only occupied two people at the time. A man who appeared to be harassing a young woman who kept backing away from him further and further into the alleyway, finally when he grabbed her I intervened.

"Hey! Ichika Hoshino SRCPO, I demand that you let her go immediately." My voice had echoed off of the walls. He let her go alright and when he did he took a swipe at me. The knife that he had pulled out barely grazed me, it hurt and I had soon felt liquid rolling down my neck.

I went for my firearm and that's when he grabbed me, shoving me back against the brick wall. Adrenaline fueled me as I kneed him in the groin and went for a left hook. The crack of my fist against his face is a sound that I'll never forget, it's just too satisfying.

 _I don't think I've ever hit anyone before in my life…_ It hurt like hell to hit him but it caused enough distress for me to grab my gun, kick his knife away, and ultimately cuff him and call it in. _I've never subdued someone in my life._

As exhilarating as it all was, it was terrifying. That entire situation could have gone south so fast. Afterwards I had sent a few messages to Okazaki, telling him about what had happened and that I'd be at the station shortly.

He had shown up as Mochida was tending my wound, evidently he wasn't just in the neighborhood this time.

"You'd be a much smarter officer." Okazaki takes my bruised fist and rubs it against his cheek. His lips are soft against my tender bones. "I'll pay him a visit later-"

"No." Both Mochida and I say. We stare at each other, both thinking the same thing. "There's no need anyways."

Okazaki frowns. "Of course there's a need! Give me five minutes with him."

"He doesn't need to be questioned. It's fine okay? I should have played it all smarter." _How was I supposed to know he had a knife?_ I acted on impulse.

Mochida nods. "As long as you know. Take tomorrow off, that's an order."

I frown, I knew _that_ was coming. "You're over-"

"I'll take tomorrow off as well, I have some vacation time. We can spend all day together." As Mochida gets up, Okazaki takes his seat to do his own inspection. His fingers are gently as he feels around my arm and back area. "He really grabbed you."

 _This is so nice._ I'm use to having Mochida fret over me but having my boyfriend do it feels so much better. "I wish I would have knocked out a tooth or something because that really hurt. It'll be bruised for awhile."

"I should have been there. This would have _never_ happened if I had been there." _He sounds so frustrated._

"I know, I'd hate to see the condition that he'd be in once you were through with him. Now you know that I can protect myself when it counts...maybe even you if you let me." _I like that idea, being able to protect him._

"You shouldn't have to! That's my job-"

"We're equals." I can tell that my smile is irritating him. This pushy nature is _exactly_ what he does to me and other people. "I'll protect you and you protect me." There's not a doubt in my mind that he could have handled that entire situation so much better than me.

"I care about you." I tell him.

He grabs my hand. "Then stay with me forever."

"Then let me do my part okay?" I like Okazaki, I may even love Okazaki. _He's my entire world so it's my duty and pleasure to be able to protect him. He just has to let me do it._

"Okay." With a sigh he finally gives in.

We link pinkies, an unspoken promise for our future together.

* * *

 **Done and done. Mineo will be next whenever I find time to type it up, it might be awhile .  
**

 **As for the story request with love triangles...I must admit that I've never wrote a love triangle. I will give it a shot and if I'm pleased with it then I will type it up, I'm always writing on paper at work, I write things before I type them up. It's annoying but writing helps me gather my thoughts before I type it all up.**

 **I hope that you all enjoyed Okazaki's part. I certainly enjoyed his story. I love possessive types I must admit xD**

 **See you all whenever!**


	5. Chapter 5 Fired Up

**Hey, so here's the update! Mineo was actually my least favorite route to do in the game. I enjoyed his route but...I don't know. He must just not be my type! He's a cutie though.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Collar x Malice or any of it's characters or plot points.**

* * *

"Whoah I didn't actually think that they'd set me up with someone so cute…"

I look up from my phone and realize that this must be the man who Sakuragawa keeps texting me about. Tall, red haired, and sort of looks like a samurai/Japanese mafia. This man fit that to the **T** with his long red hair pulled up into a samurai ponytail. _Date Masamune?_ The one-eyed dragon. _This man very much resembles a dragon with his fiery hair and long limbs...I bet he's scary when provoked._ I almost regret my decision right off the bat.

"Date Masa….I mean Mineo Enomoto?" I make the mistake partially on purpose. His eyes light up and I know I've gotten it right. "Ichika Hoshino." I get up to shake his hand and he stares at it as if he's unsure if he's allowed to touch me. When I blatantly reach for his hand, his entire body jerks and he practically grabs mine and shakes it enthusiastically.

"It's a pleasure h-h-honestly."

 _His stuttering is adorable, he's nothing like a dragon!_ We sit opposite of each other and order some beverages. I order a latte while he orders black coffee. "Manly choice." His face brightens into a smug smile and I mentally add another tally to my count.

"Of course!" He says it proudly when our drinks arrive, mine has some latte art in it of a sleeping cat. We both stare into my cup, marveling at its details, our foreheads nearly touching since he has to lean so far over. _He's so long…_

"It's so cute…." He remarks before looking into his cup with disappointment.

"Wanna trade?" I don't actually like black coffee, but his smile is cute enough to make me want to try. "Latte's are always a little too sweet for me...it'd upset my stomach if I drink this."

"You sure?" His voice sounds so eager.

I nod, happy to help. "Yeah I honestly shouldn't have ordered it." We trade cups and I add a bit of cream and sugar into the coffee, he's too busy looking at the cat to really notice. _I wonder if he's too into the cat to drink it?_ "Do you not like sweet things?"

"I don't mind them, some sweets are really good you know? We should order some, girls really like stuff like cake right?"

 _It's so easy to read him. He's trying so hard to put on a manly front but this cute side of his is_ _just adorable._

To be honest when Sakuragawa suggested a blind date I was against it, I just _don't_ date you know? I never have time and it's usually a bust. Blind dates can be fun though since he's a friend of Sakuragawa's. She practically bullied me until I said yes.

 _This doesn't seem so bad though._ We order a few slices of cake and a bowl of banana pudding. "I really like pudding." I tell him.

He nods eagerly. "Me too. I buy the expensive ones and put them in the fridge for snacks."

"Me too! I live alone so it's a perfect snack for later. Whenever I make my own it always sits in the fridge so I'm eating it for a week!" Although on sad days I have eaten an entire batch of pudding, not my greatest moment.

"You make your own? Seriously?"

 _He makes it sound like it's the greatest thing he's ever heard, how cute._ It's hard to not be drawn in by his words. _He's a little goofy but he's fun._ "I'll make you some sometime." I say this without really thinking, that's how easy it is to get comfortable with this man.

He nods eagerly. "That sounds amazing!"

I stifle a laugh. For a few minutes we sit and enjoy our drinks and when the treats arrive we start to dig in, both of us impressed with the treats. "What do you do for a living?" I ask him this because Sakuragawa wouldn't tell me when I asked. I was at the very least assured that he has a job, there was no way I was going out with someone who doesn't.

"Hee hee...I'm glad you asked!" From seemingly out of nowhere he pulls an oriental fan out and points it directly at me. "Prepare to be amazed! I, Mineo Enomoto, 23 years old am a part of the highly esteemed Field Ops 2 department for the police!" At the end he opens his fan with a flourish and leers over the top of it at me to see my reaction.

"Well?" He asks, clearly proud of himself. "Are you impressed? I bet you didn't expect my answer!"

 _That explains how he knows Sakuragawa._ I honestly _didn't_ expect that answer. "That's quite the accomplishment. I bet you're _really_ fast." They _have_ to be, they're literally the legs of the operation.

He nods. "Absolutely, it's hard work but it's a lot of fun you know? We're usually the first responders."

I nod because I know. "We actually work in the same building then."

"What?" His smile drops, seems like Sakuragawa didn't mention this to him either.

"I work for the Special Regions Crime Prevention Office. It's a glorified phone job but I get called out occasionally." It's just your usual neighborhood calls to break up people out too late, or concerned citizens. I have a firearm but I rarely use it outside of the practice range.

"So you don't really get much action huh?"

I shake my head." I deliver paperwork and take phone calls all day. Sometimes I check in on people. To be honest I'm hoping to score a position in hostage negotiation. I'm really good with people and I've already talked people down before." Sometimes people call scared out of their minds, I talk with them until they're calm enough to speak rationally with me.

"Hostage negotiation sounds really rough though, You seem too nice to do something like that, no offense but if things go south you _cannot_ hold yourself responsible for that. You just can't, you'll ruin yourself if you do."

His words make sense to me because of course I've thought about that. I can't afford to not think about it. "Yeah but if I do succeed then those are lives that I saved. Someone gets a second chance to live because of me and because of that I think it's worth fighting for, you know? I can do this, I'm sure of it."

His smile drops and he gives me a rather serious look. This is a look I haven't seen the entire date and if I'm being honest it's rather attractive. "I may have misjudged you, I think you'll do just fine."

His words encourage me to the point where I _know_ that I can do this. "Would you like to exchange phone numbers?" I've actually enjoyed myself way more than I originally thought that I would.

This immediately sends him over the edge. "Are you sure? If so this is awesome!"

"Yeah absolutely." I get out my phone and we exchange phones to put in our numbers. Afterwards we send each other texts to make sure that we've gotten it right. "Maybe we can go out again sometime?"

His face is practically beaming. He clearly likes this idea. "Yes, yes please! This is sweet!"

 _Perhaps it's been awhile for him as well. I know i haven't dated since before the academy, my head was too stuck into my schooling and work._

Enomoto seems like a really nice guy...perhaps it's worth trying/

* * *

"You...weren't...kidding." I'm bent over in absolute pain, my lungs gasping for air. It's a beautiful hot summer day and I'm pretty sure I look terrible with my running shorts on and my sweat soaked t-shirt. My hair is tied back but the heat is still getting to me. I take a swig from my water but it does little to help me.

Enomoto is several yards in front of me, no doubt having the time of his life as he jogs around the track field. He's like a well-oiled machine as his legs work flawlessly. As soon as he loops around to me he stops and wipes his face off with his shirt.

"You doing okay Hoshino?"

 _I_ _ **cannot**_ _believe he's barely even breathing all that hard. Is he even human?_ I nod to answer his question but he clearly doesn't believe me since he takes this moment to sit down on the side of the track. My stubborn nature tells me not to join him but my thighs are screaming. I sit down beside him and try to slow my breathing down. _You must look ridiculous._

"I've never really seen a woman outside of Field Ops run like that! You're one tough woman Hoshino!" He pats me on the back and that earns him a smile.

This entire 'date' was my idea. I decided that he either needed to put out or shut up. Due to the training at the academy I know damn well that I can give most men a _run_ for their money. I'm not physically strong but I can move pretty damn fast when I need to.

That being said, he's clearly something else.

I talked a big game. I told him he'd 'eat his words' and even bet treats on it later.

"Will you hand make them if I win?" He asked when we met up at the track.

I nodded. "You have to do the same if I win though." His confidence only annoyed me at the time. Too bad he can seriously strut his stuff.

"In my line of work you're always told 'faster, faster, faster'. It only takes a second for something awful to happen. So I train quite a bit, I'm also not that bad at hand-to-hand."

"We should practice together." His words fuel me up and honestly my hand-to-hand is rather rusty.

He panics. "I can't put my hands all over you like that! What if I touch them? I don't want to get slapped…"

 _He doesn't mean my...oh he_ _ **totally**_ _means those._ "Pfft!" I start to laugh, I seriously can't help it. It's contagious. "Normally I'd get after you for treating me like a woman...but I kind of want you to you know?" I reach for his hand and at first he pulls back, hesitant about touching me, but then he takes mine in his.

"Your hand is so warm…" He stares at them like he can't believe he's actually holding my hand. "And small as well...I'm afraid I'll break you."

"Don't be afraid of that, I'm not as fragile as I seem." I can take a beating so _surely_ I can handle whatever he does. "Teach me on weekends?"

"Only...only if you pay me with your cooking." His voice is shaking, it's adorable.

"Yeah sure, if that's all you want. You can be a bit more selfish you know?" I barely know him but I like him quite a bit. He's strong, hardworking, and cute at times. _He's clearly very patient._

"L-L-Like what?"

"Do you...want to be my boyfriend? Like officially?" My face feels hot from more than just the workout.

Finally his face turns red. "Only...only if you want me to be."

"Do you not want to?" _Does he just want to be friends? Have I misread things?_

"No, no, no, no! I want to be your boyfriend seriously! Like superbad, nothing would make me happier!"

"Oh good." I let out a breath of relief. I knew that I would have to be the one to ask, he's just too innocent to ask. I knew that if I waited for him then I'd be waiting forever. "I was worried that you wanted to just be friends."

"There's no way in hell _any_ guy just wants to be friends with you." His voice is stern, he means it.

I laugh. "You're joking. Saeki is my friend and he doesn't want to date me."

"He's lying. You're pretty, you cook, you clean, and you're super hardworking. He's either lying or he's an idiot, if it's the first one then him and I need to chat."

"You think I'm pretty?" I cannot help the fact that's what I focus on.

He refuses to look me in the eyes, he's too embarrassed. "I...I...I think you're beautiful."

"..." Now it's my turn to act all shy.

"I gotta run. I have to run all of this off or else!" He suddenly jumps up and takes off running without looking back. I watch him go, amazed at how fast he runs. I watch his strong shoulders get further and further away until I flop onto my back and enjoy this euphoric feeling.

He runs for about thirty more minutes before returning, now he's breathing _very_ hard. "Ready...to go?"

"Yeah, no problems."

"I can carry you on my back if your legs hurt. It's been awhile since you've done this right?" He reads me like an open book. After contemplating it for a moment, I give in and he helps me hoist myself up onto his back. His hands are warm against my bare thighs and I'm rather grateful that he can't see my face at all. I wrap my arms around his neck and push aside his hair with my nose.

"You're so soft...are all girls this soft?" He thinks out loud once more and I panic for a moment.

"N-no...just me okay?" Not that I think he's the type to go out and seek out other girls, I get defensive really easy. I work hard in every aspect of my life, of course this will be no different.

"Oh God I said that out loud! Or did I? You aren't a mind reader are you? No, you would have slapped me way earlier if you were."

My face certainly gets red at hearing this because of course my mind is going straight into the gutter. I'm not proud of it. "Don't be an idiot!"

"I'm not!" His laughter dissipates the awkwardness. I also join him in his laughter.

"Are you sure I'm allowed inside?"

He had put me down to allow me to unlock my apartment door. "I live alone now so it shouldn't be a problem, my brother moved out a few months ago. If you're uncomfortable then I can just bring you snacks?" He's too innocent for it to really bother me any. "I was actually hoping that I could take a quick shower and change before I get started. You're welcome to shower as well, I'm pretty sure I still have some of Kazuki's clothes…" _Would they even fit?_

"Showering together is a bit much...don't you think?" He's seriously considering this.

I cannot help but laugh. "No, no, no. You can shower when I'm done! I've gone out with you twice, there's no way…" _Still, I like the idea of hm in my apartment._ I just do.

I leave him in my living room, trusting him to brew tea while I head in for a shower. The hot water feels absolutely amazing on my aching muscles. It's been so long since I've really worked out, I hadn't really thought this through. _I bet he looks really good underneath his shirt...Field ops men are really built. They're skilled in both hand-in-hand and short range firing. They're really something._

Enomoto must have been out the one time that I had delivered paperwork. The room was full of energy, like kids hyped up on sugar. It was quite the experience having them all shouting at me and then teasing each other. I remember thinking that it looked like a lot of fun.

"Sorry for the wait, I'll go and fish up some of Kazuki's clothes that may or may not fit you." _I believe a relative bought him a few shirts that were way too big._ Kazuki had probably shoved them in his closet to never be seen again. "I hope you don't mind my shampoo, it smells like cherry blossoms."

"Perfect!" I hand him a towel and he heads into my bathroom. I head to the kitchen to get started on the cookies, I needed something quick and easy.

Kazuki did indeed have a few shirts to choose from and even a pair of sweatpants that might fit. _They'll be a little short but it'll have to do._ With the cookies in the oven, I set the clothes outside of the bathroom for him. _It's a little weird having an actual man in my place...it feels weird._

I'm grateful for the fact that I'm a cleaning nut. There's not much out and I honestly don't own much besides clothes and a few prized stuffed toys. _Am I perhaps...boring?_ I try not to worry about it too much.

The cookies are almost done when Enomoto steps out. The pants are indeed a bit short on him but the shirt seems to fit alright. It's almost shocking to see him with his hair all down, it's way longer than mine and I'm a bit jealous. _I wonder what he looks like with his eyepatch off._ Just having his hair down makes him seem like a different person. "Girl's shampoo always smells better than men's…"

"I'm glad you like it. Cookies are almost done."

"They smell amazing!" He heads into the kitchen where I'm washing my dishes. Not that there are many, I just hate for them to pile up. He picks up a hand towel and starts to dry them off.

 _This is kind of nice...Kazuki never helped with the chores._ I chalk up date #2 as a success.

"These are delicious! I still can't believe you made these…" He's on his third cookie and I'm just thrilled that he actually likes them. I take great pleasure and pride in the things that I make since I usually practice until I get it right. "Thank you…"

"You earned it, I mean I lost count on how many times you lapped me." _He lapped me four times...four._

"Don't be hard on yourself, I'm literally built for running and I enjoy it. I thought it was wicked when you invited me out running...a chance to show off."

"Enjoy it while it lasts because I'm going to catch up to you." _I will_ _ **try**_ _to at least keep up with him. That's my goal._ I'm pretty sure it's actually impossible for me to actually reach his speed.

"I won't go easy on you just because you're my girlfriend!"

Fired up from reaching a new goal, I nod eagerly and look him straight into his...eye. "If you did then there'd be no point!"

* * *

"Ummm….is Enomoto out?" I had opened the door to Field Ops but everyone was too busy messing around with one another to really notice me here...or even the fact that the door had opened. _Are they even really police?_ The lively atmosphere was _very_ welcoming...although a tad annoying. "..."

"Whoah! It's the paperwork lady again!" One of the men finally notice me and all of sudden the entire department's eyes are upon me.

 _Paperwork...lady?_ Slightly annoyed, I drop my smile and put my hands on my hips.

"She looks mad now! Can we get the boss for you or something-"

"ENOMOTO!" I was done screwing with them.

Sure enough a familiar red head pokes his head up from one of the aisles. At first he looks ready to fight but upon seeing me, his face softens. It's only been a few months since we started dating but I'm perhaps a little too fond of him.

"Wait...paperwork lady is _your_ lady-"

"Stop calling me that," I turn my glare towards the man who had spoke. He freezes up immediately and everyone else gets a grin on their faces. "Hey is Satake around? I'd like to talk to him with you." I head over to Enomoto who has no idea why I'm here.

"About what?"

"Submitting my resume to Field Ops." The words hang in the air.

Over these past few months I've been training with Enomoto. I'm already a good shot and I've got the basics down for hand-in-hand so training wasn't as bad as starting from scratch. We run together every morning before work and on weekends we duke it out. He taught me things that I've only read about in manuals and it feels _good_. It feels good to know these things and to be able to take down people much larger than me.

The first time I had taken down Enomoto on my own during training felt like I had climbed a mountain. I had cheered and joined him on the ground for a celebratory hug. We laughed ourselves silly that day and he told me how proud of me he was. We both know that I'm still nowhere near Enomoto's level but that day had felt like a step. An accomplishment.

As rough as training can be, I enjoy it. It's such a stress reliever that I find myself _needing_ it. It's also my time with Enomoto, this is a time for us to get raw with one another. He's so shy and careful around me when we're not training but during training he drops his facade and focuses on training me. He shows me where to hit and where to grab. He mercilessly subdues me on the ground each and every time I fail. It's addicting and when our session is over, he's back to his goofy self. He frets over me and apologizes for how rough he is on me. I always tell him it's no big deal and he always replies "That's my girl."

Still I allow him to kiss away the bruises.

He treats me with care and respect. I'm still his girlfriend and he's proud of it. He holds my hand and we're together whenever we can be. As we get closer he becomes more and more confident with me. He tells me how beautiful I am and some days when he's brave, he'll ask for a hug or even a kiss.

"It's not right to do it without permission…"

I cannot wait for him to get comfortable with kissing me. It's just so nice to do and I miss it when it's over. I've invited him to stay the night, it felt right. I cooked, he showered, and we went to sleep together. Nothing more and nothing less. I woke up in his arms, his hair tickling my nose and draping around my body like a second blanket. I remember thinking that I wouldn't mind doing this every day.

"You want to what?" He's grinning, almost like he _expected_ this but at the same time there's an edge to his voice. I know this well and I straighten, ready for a fight.

"I think I'm more than ready/capable of joining this Division. I can handle my own for the most part and I believe I'm better than just a desk junkie."

"What about hostage negotiation?"

"If this doesn't work out then I'll apply for that. I feel really passionate about this and I've thought about it a lot," I stand my ground. "This isn't about working with you."

"As your boyfriend...I cannot agree with this decision. What kind of man would I be if I wanted my woman to go off into dangerous situations for a living? At least behind a desk you'll be safe from harm...out on the field though, anything can happen. I won't always be there to protect you." Despite the edge in his voice I can tell that he's proud of my decision. Even if he can't get behind it all the way, he's still supportive.

"These hands of mine are strong. You've shown me what I can do, you've brought out my potential and I want to take a chance to do something with myself. I can be good at this...I know that I can." I can feel my resolve getting stronger the more that I say this to him.

"I love that fire in your eyes….you've already made up your mind so there's nothing that I can say to change it. I'll introduce you to Satake…" We head in the back and I feel good. My body feels accomplished knowing that he supports my decision.

Satake is an older gentleman who as soon as he sees me he gets up and basically crushes my hand. "You _have_ to be Hoshino!" Like a father, his voice is loud and friendly. He's clearly _very_ happy to finally meet me. "I see that Enomoto has yet to chase you away! Excellent!"

"He's very good to me." I speak the truth. Enomoto treats me like a Queen and him my loyal samurai.

"He better be or I'll have his hide! Now sit, sit. The two of you clearly didn't come just to introduce yourselves."

 _He's sharp, of course he is._ "You're exactly right. I've come to request an application to join your Field Ops division. I'm currently employed in the Special Regions Crime Prevention Office but I know that I was made to do more than that. I'd like to submit my resume and to show you that I can keep up with the majority of those that you have here." I may not have instincts but I know my own strengths. There's not a doubt in my mind that I could out shoot nearly everyone in that room.

"I came to offer my reluctant recommendation. I trained her myself...she'll do well in this division."

"The two of you really think that you can work in the same division? There's company rules against that...you're better off joining the 2nd team."

 _Shiraishi's….that'd be a nightmare._ "I figured that you'd say that...but I had to at least try. I'll go and talk to Shiraishi tomorrow." _That man is so difficult to deal with, I'll have to bring a bribe._

"I'll send over my recommendation as well then...trust me I'd love to have you. I like the fire in your eyes and my gut is screaming at me for turning you down."

I smile, my heart is full of pride. "You flatter me sir. Thank you for your time."

"Enomoto," We both look back at him. "Keep a hold of that one would you? She seems like a good egg."

"I plan on it trust me." He puts an arm around my shoulders as we walk out of the office. The room explodes with catcalls and cheering from his fellow members. "WOULD YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP!?" The room starts to laugh at his clearly useless attempt to silence them. We make our escape quickly and once we exit he frowns.

"I figured that this would happen." I tell him. It was a long shot but in the end it's worth it. I now have Satake's recommendation. Shiraishi would be a fool not to accept my...too bad he's entirely unpredictable and seems to do whatever the heck he wants. He'd turn me down just to see my reaction. _I'll re-apply everyday if I have to. Maybe Mukai can bully him._

"If Shiraishi gives you any trouble I'll help you out okay? He'll hire you...just be careful okay? I can't keep an eye on you when you're there."

"You'll still train me. I need your help and support now more than ever." It's true. Without him I'd never have done this. I would never realize my own strength.

He nods. "Of course. I'll always support you...but I'll always worry about you as well."

"I'd think there's something wrong with you if you didn't." We share a grin and I know now more than ever that with him, we can do anything.

* * *

 **I'll be uploading Minegishi next since I thought of something for him. Sorry for the slow updates, kind of what happens when you work 64 hours a week -_-**

 **Also, totes been playing Bad Apple Wars! I'm super sad that it's so short :( compared to say Code Realize or Collar x Malice.**

 **ALSO Code Realize has now started to release their anime! Ahhhh. I'm going to wait for it to all come out so that way I can just watch it all in one go but Im super stoked for that because it's such a good game!**

 **Thank you for reading, please review if you have the time!**

 **Toodles!**


End file.
